Making My Relationship Work

By Miss Thea on Saturday, 19 of November , 2011 at 11:43 am

My 7 year relationship now started out as an office affair.

It started inappropriately since he was one of my bosses. I don’t really report directly under him but he definitely has authority over me.

I was persistent in going out with him, so I asked a common friend to set us up. He was not comfortable with the fact that people will know that he will be going out with a co-worker. I was not really bothered by that idea because I didn’t think that it would affect my credibility since I’m not really a decision maker of the company. Eventually after months of waiting we went out to dinner, twice. Then it became a constant thing every weekend. For months I really didn’t know our status since nobody really knows that we are out together since I understood that his position and career opportunities would be in jeopardy.

So for four months we just dated, but eventually my feelings for him grew out of hand. I started becoming clingy and was in a constant need to be with him. This was not what I planned it to be. It was supposed to be controlled but one thing I learned about feelings, you can never control or dictate them. I found it hard to tell him how I feel because I don’t want to be the one to do it first and the fact that I just got out of a messy relationship would make it more complicated. I was just supposed to have fun and date a lot of guys in this stage of my life but that was not bound to happen. For months I dated him exclusively, it was insanely difficult to pretend that i didn’t want anything more than it. Although I can also sense that he likes me too but I felt that he was not ready to make the first move. So I thought, is this guys serious? What does he want me to do, spell it out for him? It got me so pissed off that I just text-ed him how I felt. The text message said something like “I can’t see you anymore and this is getting complicated” maybe some other time. And right away he told me that he was falling in love with me! I got furious and asked him why it was taking him too long. He just told me that the idea of him dating a co worker is not really an ideal image that he wants his boss to see him with. And that he was eying for promotion and stuff. So we were officially in a relationship but we were not able to go out like normal couples do. Only 2 of our friends know about us which was very hard for me. I was like a mistress or even worse than that. It felt awful and it affected our relationship. We can’t even eat out or watch a movie together. Do you know how frustrating could that be? And this is all because we were trying to protect our jobs. Which we realized in end the by the way that it was never worth it.  We agreed on who will stay in the company, it was him. He had the higher pay and position.

We started living together and I got another job and got engaged last year. I have learned such a great deal about this relationship that love and patience will truly find its course and it will be all worth it. If you are suckers for romance like me, don’t lose hope. I have found him it was a long and arduous road but it was all worth the wait.  A relationship will work out if both are willing to sacrifice and compromise. If the other party doesn’t want to compromise chances are it’s not worth you time either.

Comments (1) Category: Featured Entries
Tags: Affair, engagement, relationship, work
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Forced Immigrant Orientation in Sweden

By Blue Rose on Wednesday, 21 of July , 2010 at 4:21 pm

All newly arrived immigrants should undergo courses in core societal values and be taught about how Swedish society works with municipalities obliged to offer 60 hours of teaching, a government inquiry has proposed

“Without knowledge of fundamental societal values an important prerequisite to be able to live and work in Sweden is lacking,” writes Erik Amnå, who led the government inquiry, in a debate article in the Dagens Nyheter daily.

Amnå, whose proposal has been presented to the integration minister Nyamko Sabuni, suggests that the courses should be divided into three key areas – values (the constitutional foundations), the welfare state (public institutions), and everyday life (practical applied knowledge of how the welfare state works).

Erik Amnå proposes that municipalities be instructed to offer 60 hours of schooling to each new immigrant and advises against dividing up new arrivals according to traditional categories such as ethnicity or religious identity.

“How shall we begin the story of Sweden for the 40,000 refugees, relatives, labor market immigrants and other adult arrivals who move to Sweden every year?” asks Erik Amnå, who is a Swedish professor in political science at Örebro University.

Amnå argues that his proposal is based on a concern to ensure that all members of society have an equal chance of “on the one hand to take part in collective decisions about societal development, and on the other be able to form their lives independently and to live in freedom”.

The professor draws on the thinking of German philosopher Jürgen Habermas to argue that multiculturalism can be affirmed and social cohesion clarified by “deepening the long-term constitutional solidarity” referring to the importance of acquiring knowledge of ethical norms prevalent in the Swedish constitution.

The proposal suggests that 60 hours of teaching will be offered in the native tongues of the around 30,000 who come to Sweden to live and who are issued with residence permits extending beyond 12 months.

The courses would not be obligatory and thus if half accept the opportunity the cost would run to 90 million kronor ($12 million) per annum, Amnå estimates.

Erik Amnå underlines the importance of showing respect to the individual adults and recognizes that “individuals with different backgrounds require scope for individually-adapted reflection and dialogue” and argues that teachers would need support from universities to develop the required expertise.

Comments (2) Category: Work Abroad
Tags: Immigrants, Sweden, work
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