By Blue Rose on Tuesday, 22 of September , 2009 at 5:53 pm
The Male Non-Negotiable
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“Trust is a topmost factor in a relationship, I was going out with someone I really liked before, but she already had a boyfriend. It didn’t bother me at first that she had to keep lying to her boyfriend whenever we were together – until I found out that she was doing the same thing to me. That was the real deal breaker. She turned out to be someone I would have a hard tie loving because I couldn’t trust her.” – Eric 27, restaurant manager
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“I had an ex-girlfriend who had a very tough time making her mind up about anything. And if she did decide on something, she would often change her mind at the most annoying of times. Even if she didn’t particularly enjoy the idea of something she’d say’ up to you,’ keep it to herself, and act sullen after, leaving me to wonder why. It quickly got quite frustrating. Everything would have been fine if she had only been a bit more decisive about things and more vocal with her opinions. For me, saying what’s on your mind is definitely better.” – Troy 27, accountant
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“Be open minded, understanding, and don’t make up stories based on your jealous frenzy. I once had an ex who would immediately suspect that I was flirting with a girl just because I was having a good conversation with her. Her baseless suspicions made me feel unnecessarily insecure whenever a girl talked to me. In the end, I couldn’t stand her pretty jealousy, so I broke up with her.” – Jack 32, executive manager
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“Long distance relationships are usually painful and upsetting, but sometimes a few guys come along that are actually willing to wait. Not all guys are dumb and insensitive. Remember that and maybe you’ll learn to give someone decent a fair chance next time.” – Eddie 30, research analyst
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“Some girls are so possessive and jealous. Give your guys some space and leave us alone once in awhile! We’ll end up coming back to you more often than you’d think.” – Robbie 28, IT analyst
Braving the Breakup
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“For goodness’s sake, don’t break up with a guy through text or email! Have the maturity and decency to break up with him face to face.” – Cholo 26, law student
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“When guys bail, we often have doubts about it. But let us deal with it on our own. We’ll beg you back when we finally realize we’ve lost you for real. That time, we’ll be so into the chase all over again.” – Robert 28, artist
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“When relationships are cut, they should be cut cleanly. There’s no use in going back to your ex to find what went wrong. A person has to find that out for his or her own self. Allot time to heal and do some self-reflection.” – Froilan 29, nurse
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“I’m not supposed to spill this out, but really, the best way to get back at someone who broke your heart is to be fine without him. When the girl we broke up with seems super fine, it affects our ego and we think,’Aba! Why in the world is she okay without me?” – Devy 30, chef
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“Don’t stay with your boyfriend just because you’re afraid to hurt him. If the feeling’s no longer there or you’re beginning to think about other guys, end your relationship right away. Be fair to your clueless boyfriend and to yourself..” – Albert 23, student
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“Even if we did the breaking up, we still second guess our decision. When you start begging us to stay. Our decision to leave just becomes more justified.” – Jerry 27, computer technologist
By Blue Rose on Sunday, 13 of September , 2009 at 6:02 am
How you live through fights
- “Do women really have to raise their voices to get their points across? Contrary to popular belief, men do listen and they’re easy to talk to – as long as they’re not being yelled at. Otherwise, they tune out.” – Hans, 28, artist
- “My ex-girlfriend would shower me with kisses whenever I got upset with her. It usually worked and my heart would soften. But because we never really talked about our issues and only resolved them physically, our communication wasn’t open and issues kept resurfacing because there was no proper discussion.” – Richard, 32, manager
-“Stop whining, nagging, screaming, and complaining about everything because it’s really irritating when a girl does these things if a girl has something on her mind, she should talk to her boyfriend nicely. Guys don’t like to fight. I would have preferred it if my ex appreciated all the things that I did for her instead of having complained all the time.” – Dennis, 30, businessman
Syncing up in the sack
-“I dated a single mom who was five years older than me and had three kids. In bed, we never had more than one round lovemaking. When she was satisfied, that was it. After two years she told me she didn’t have the energy for sex anymore and suggested I find a younger woman. I did – much to her regret.” – Francis, 27, singer
-“If you expect your boyfriend to go down you, please wash up first. Also, a little trimming wouldn’t hurt.” – Trevor, 28, racer
-“Be a bit more assertive in bed. If your lover isn’t performing up to par, tell him how he can improve. Be specific and don’t be shy. Don’t be afraid to hurt his ego. In the end, if he sees you’re enjoying, that’s a big ego boost for him. Encourage him tot el you also how you can be a better lover.” – Ben, 26, marketing manager
Matching your fundamentals
-“I’m a very family-oriented guy. I need a girl who understands that I will always be involved with my family. Sometimes I’ll need to drop a prior engagement with my girl to attend to family matters and an old girlfriend couldn’t understand that. She ended up feeling neglected and alone but didn’t know what else to do. As far as I knew, blood was thicker than water.” – Markus, 34, restaurateur
-“You know how people say that you’re supposed to be able to depend on each other? Well, there’s such a thing as being too dependent…” – Larry, 29, IT engineer
-“My ex-girlfriend had halitosis and it really put me off, but I couldn’t tell her. There were times she’d want to cuddle, like when we were watching a movie, and it killed me because her breath just smelled too much like spoiled saliva. When my own mother noticed her bad breath, I thought it was time to break it off. I wanted a girl whom I could proudly show off and be with, not one who repelled me – and my family and friends – physically.” – Garry, 33, teacher
By Blue Rose on Wednesday, 9 of September , 2009 at 7:00 am
Learn from your past – and be the best girlfriend
You need not wish an ex-boyfriend ill. Instead, make better use of your time and emotions by taking advantage of bitter breakups and dude dramas – and coming out the truly better half.
It didn’t work out. Now what? Whether your boyfriend ducked out or you called it quits, truth is, you can learn a thing or two from each failed relationship. Ultimately, it’s you – because you have full control over how your next relationship can be better. Here, we help you pick up self-improvement cues from your ex-boyfriend’s raves and rants. Listen closely and learn how to makeover your girlfriend style and ready yourself for Mr. Next.
What Makes You Girlfriend Material
- “Having ambition and goals is a big turn-on for guys. Men may base their first impressions on women’s looks or sense of humor, but we really do looks for hints as to how a woman’s personality will pan out in the long run. Will she be dependable, or will she just drag a man down?” – Sandy, 32, manager
- “A girl should go out with someone who’s more like her. I think my ex was a bit too aggressive and neurotic for me while I was laidback and lazy. We both tried to compromise by becoming more like the other person. That led a lot of tension and unneeded resentment.” – Nathan, 27, call center agent
- “Pretty girls are used to being chased by guys. So when they get into a serious relationship, they forget that they have to sacrifice all the fun flirtations of the single life. If one man adoring her isn’t enough, then she should just stay single.” – Teddy, 22, student
- “Many girls take nice guys for granted. And when the jerks they end up with start breaking their hearts, they wonder what happened! Those girls should screw their heads on straight and see that nice guys are here to stay – for the long haul!” – Francis, 30, Engineer
- “Though the sweet, mahinhin type is appealing for many guys, we don’t particularly want to have a partner who’s as meek as a worm (read: no backbone). On a first date, girls should tell guys where they’d like to go or what they’d like to eat, and be open to their date’s suggestions as well. Guys like girls who are confident, but not too bossy.” – Patrick, 26, executive manager
Managing Relationship Expectations
- “My ex would get infuriated with me whenever I forgot to text her, ‘Good night. I love you’ before going to bed. If I didn’t text her, I would wake up with at least 10 text messages in my mobile phone – all from her, telling me what an inconsiderate ass I was. The issue got really old very quickly and I couldn’t stand her insecurity anymore, so I dumped her.” – Mel, 33, accountant
- “I like a woman who has no problem with ‘guy time.’ My friends will always be a part of my life. A woman can’t replace then and she certainly can’t make me choose between her and them.” – Paulo, 27, teacher
- “I can’t stand it when girls get so clingy. They start whining about being alone and hopeless without me at their beck and call all day long. My ex-girlfriend used to do that and I ended up leaving her because she just didn’t understand. I have my own life and if a girl can’t handle that, then we aren’t meant.” – Dan, 29, banker
-“My ex had a split Jekyll and Hyde personality when it came to showing affection. She was the sweetest, most loving girl who would shower me with kisses and give me tight embraces – but only when we were alone. In public, she was as stiff and cold as a corpse. I would simply hold her hand and she would reject me. I didn’t like the fact that I couldn’t show to the world how much I adore my girl. It eventually turned me off.” – Randy, 30, graphic artist
There are still more coming’ up, stick with me and you will surely know everything that man’s thinking about their girlfriends. I’m sure you will get a lot of tips from them on how to be the best girlfriend ever, win and melt their hearts. See you.
By Blue Rose on Tuesday, 8 of September , 2009 at 3:05 pm
Sometimes it’s hard to know what makes men tick. So we researched some of guy’s most baffling antics. Check out these fascinating explanations.
Why do guys play pointless games? – Stacking cans and shooting wads of paper into the trash may seem dumb to you, but he can’t help it. “Guys have a need to achieve a sense of competence, even if the skills have no purpose,” says Judy Kleinfeld, EdD, professor of psychology at the University of Alaska at Fairbanks.
Why is it that as soon as a relationship gets serious, some guys get malabo? – You’ve finally decided to be exclusive, and he suddenly starts pulling away. What the hell? Well, men in relationships often feel physically torn in two different directions. While oxytocin, the bonding hormone, is making him want to attach to a girl, the testosterone in his system is telling him to break free and maintain his independence, according to Michael Gurian, author of What Could He Be Thinking?
What do guys find so funny about fall-down, kicked-in-the-groin humor? – As a rule, people tend to laugh at things that make them uncomfortable, and for men, getting hurt is their worst nightmare. “Guys are afraid of being emasculated, so when they see it happen to someone else, like the three stooges or in Dumb and Dumber, they laugh, almost relieved it’s not them,” explains George Weinberg, PhD, author of Why Men Won’t Commit.
Why do guys spend hours surfing around on their computers or gadgets? – Call it crazy, but he actually enjoys seeing how far he can push the thing until it breaks. “Then he can have the pleasure of fixing it and learning how it works,” says Kleinfeld. “The more he explores, the greater the likelihood that he’ll find new features.” It’s a toy to him, not a functional object.
Why do so many men seem oblivious to clutter and mess? – You might be annoyed by the piles of clothes and papers scattered all over his house, but he may not notice! “Because of biology and socialization, women feel pressure to create a warm, comforting environment,” says Weinberg. “But a man’s pride is outside of the home. His office may be pristine, but the look of his apartment is not a priority.
Why do guys respond to a long e-mail with two sentences? – You wrote an entire novel describing your day, and he responded with something like “That’s cool. Let’s do Chinese for dinner.” Annoying? Absolutely, but it’s not personal. “For most men, the purpose of communication is just to deliver information, not to connect t another person,” explains Weinberg. “If he reads a long e-mail, he’ll weed out the points he needs to address. Responding to every detail just doesn’t seem necessary to him.”
By Blue Rose on Wednesday, 2 of September , 2009 at 2:21 pm
Hershey’s syrup, whipped cream, and a Cat woman mask. Yes, yes, we were thinking the same thing: Nothing beats a woman who purrs. But what if you’re still trying to get to the next level of your relationship? Well, that’s where the fun comes in.
“Ultimately, fun is the best aphrodisiac,” says Paul Joannides, author of The Guide to Getting It On! “Quit looking for sexy and look for fun instead—and you’ll end up having more sex.” We like the way this guy thinks. That’s why we brainstormed these adventures (with some help from experts and our female friends).
Read more: http://www.menshealth.com/mhlists/fun_date_ideas/index.php#ixzz0Pjx1wcNf
By Blue Rose on Monday, 31 of August , 2009 at 2:00 pm
Enough is enough
Insecurity is the one thing in common between the abuser and the abused. Abuse in an intimate relationship is an assertion of dominance by someone, who believes in the necessity of using violence, by whatever means, to censure, punish or discipline… it is a type of power tripping exerted by the male to establish superiority over the female. Eventually, the girl will come to believe that it’s her fault that’s he is being beaten.
There was a student who was also a model and her boyfriend was very jealous. “He slashed her thighs with a box-cutter so she would stop wearing miniskirts, which her boyfriend disapproved of because other guys were looking at her legs.” The girl wanted to kill herself when she confessed to her best friend, the girl broke down and admitted that it wasn’t the first time her boyfriend hurt her. “He had even set her hair on fire with lighter fluid while accusing her of being a “slut” and “prostitute” because he saw some pictures of her in Boracay with several guys he didn’t recognize.” Yet, for over a year, she put up with hid dehumanizing treatment because he threatened her with greater harm if she left him. It took the slashing incident for her to finally say, “enough is enough” and call it quits.
A new study confirms that females who have been battered are more likely to suffer from chronic depression, catch stress related illnesses, attempt suicide, and be subjected to forced sexual relations than those who were only verbally abused or emotionally neglected by their parents. Usually while the girl is being bashed and kicked, there is an accompanying barrage of cursing and disparaging criticism guys who hurt their girlfriends are often described as manipulative, jealous and domineering, which s psychologically damaging.
Danger zone
Though there are a lot of factors that may cause someone to be abusive (or be the abused), such as a history of family abuse, the influence of friends, the wrong values promoted by mass media, and living in a “macho” (and sometimes chauvinistic) society, these usually don’t completely explain it. Likewise, there is no sure way of telling whether your beloved boyfriend is a possible abuser and when he will strike, although there are danger signs that should put you on your guard.
Estella, 16, didn’t wait around for it to happen. “During a heated argument, my then-boyfriend shouted curses at me, then picked up a chair and smashed it against the wall. I got terrified. That same night, I decided to break up with him for good.” If you feel that he might (physically) hurt you, leave the relationship at once. You should learn how to trust your instinct (the little voice in your head, telling that “No, this isn’t right anymore”) or else you will find yourself like Estella.
Some young decent man says, “We don’t need to hit our girlfriends to make them behave, because just harsh, intimidation and bad words are enough,” hah! Is that so? Some of the girlfriends also say, “The infliction of pain on them, as long as it’s not overly physical is seen as a sign or proof that their boyfriends love them.”
I am shocked that some girls regard it as normal, albeit unpleasant, fact of life. The Coalition Against trafficking in Women-Asia-Pacific (CATW-AP), teaches the adolescent boys that females are not to be treated as commodities, but as human beings who are their co-equals. Meanwhile the girls must be encouraged to develop, at an early age, strong self-esteem that is based on their capabilities and character, rather than relying on what others – especially males – think about how they should behave. Girls, don’t be so stupid and naïve when it comes to love, think of it for so many times, when you think your boy has the capabilities of doing the abusive things, “better be off; than be knocked off”…OK!
By Blue Rose on Monday, 31 of August , 2009 at 12:00 pm
For most couples, alcohol is either the ultimate confidence booster, guaranteed to liven up the action between the sheets, or the death knell of a promising encounter, leaving one or both of you too stewed for love. But the real interaction between alcohol and sex is more nuanced, says SUNY at Potsdam sociologist David Hanson, Ph. D., the author of Preventing Alcohol Abuse. For instance, some of alcohol’s apparent aphrodisiac effects may be there because we want them to be. “Alcohol does have a real physical impact, but there’s also a big aspect of expectancy,” Hanson says. “What we think is going to happen while we’re under the influence is likely to happen.”
Researchers say people assign too much blame to alcohol for the way their sex lives play out. They also give it too much credit. We’ve cleared away the misconceptions about alcohol and sex to help ensure that this vaunted social lubricant will enhance your love life—not destroy it.
Read more: http://www.menshealth.com/mhlists/women_sex_and_alcohol/index.php#ixzz0PjwTnGUc
By Blue Rose on Monday, 31 of August , 2009 at 10:00 am
It’s hard to make big changes in life. The energy and time commitment is often too great. That’s why so many Americans still struggle with their health. The problem doesn’t know what to do; it’s doing it. So why not take the opposite approach? Forget about such grand, amorphous goals as losing weight or getting in shape. Instead, aim to drink the leftover milk in your cereal bowl each morning to get more vitamins, or hold your fork in your non-dominant hand to slow your eating, or “forget” your glasses the next time you’re at the gym so you won’t get distracted. Little tips like these can make a big difference over time.
Click this link to read more:
Read more: http://www.menshealth.com/mhlists/how_to_live_better/index.php#ixzz0PjvSsENX
