By Blue Rose on Thursday, 19 of November , 2009 at 8:57 am
Have you ever felt that there is something missing in your relationship?
You have family that loves you, you have work that provides everything you need to survive, you have friends that can be there for you when you need them, except if they are busy, you have boyfriend girlfriend or husband/wife that adores you, if they adores you.
If they adores you? What does it mean? Yah, you have boyfriend/husband, girlfriend/wife but do you feel that they love you or even have just a little feelings for you not just the word ‘I Like You’.
Yah, you are being praised when you did something really good that he/she likes, but what do you feel when you are being compared to somebody else that has been in his/her life?
Does it feel like a sharp dagger that struck into your chest?
You are happy being with him/her and can be with him/her for the rest of your life, but does he/she feel the same?
You accept him/her as what he/she is, everything that connects in his/her life, but do you feel that you are still being ignored, set aside?
There is a line that maybe adapted in this situation, ‘I was never your partner, I’m just your wife/husband’. Does it applies in your life?
Have you figured out what is missing?
Respect. Acceptance. Love. Feelings.
By Blue Rose on Saturday, 29 of August , 2009 at 4:12 pm
Did you know about the table manners, speaking manners, and everything about proper manners in our life? Well if you know all those, I guess there’s one manner that you don’t know and I think you should know and learn.
It is also called the sexual etiquette, miss manners can tell you which fork to use at a garden party or explain the elaborate protocol of weddings. But who’s to explain the etiquette of sex? Pardon the presumption, but here’s a rough sketch of an ethic of sexual decency – guidelines to ensure that we treat our lovers with kindness, decency, playfulness, and pleasuring.
Remember the golden rule – “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” works as well between the sheets as it does anywhere else.
Take the time to make yourself desirable – in longtime marriages, and even in longish relationships, lovers tend to let themselves go to seed without really sensing how unfair that it is to their partner. You notice when your partners comes to bed with face or legs covered with stubble, or without having showered, or with un-brushed teeth. Why shouldn’t your partner notice when you do the same? You may feel desire, but is you don’t take the trouble to make yourself desirable, is it really fair to ask for sex?
Ask for what you want – it’s not fair or right to present yourself to a lover and say, in effect, “Here’s my body – see if you can figure out what to do with it.” For one thing, if you don’t know how to ask for what you want, you’re virtually guaranteed not to get it. For another, by not helping your partner satisfy you, you’re setting him (or her) up for failure, touching off the tumble toward blame, anger and recrimination. If you have the strength and self-respect to ask, it will help your partner do the same.
Make sure that was a yes – you need to be sure that your partner has given full consent to sex. Sexual etiquette means nothing if it doesn’t honor this basic sexual right. And consent is not something that required only of college kids on a date. Its question of propriety tat applies to any sexual relationship, even a married one.
Take no for an answer – if your partner can tor wont give you what you want (oral sex, say), then it’s unfair to bully or browbeat them into giving it anyway. To pressure a lover by withholding love, threatening them or making the feel unworthy constitutes kind of sexual blackmail. A ‘no’ may not always last forever. It’s acceptable to ask again later, if you do so in kind, undemanding way.
Take responsibility – you need to take responsibility for your own sexual needs and desires accept them with reverence and gratitude – and let your partner know what they are.
Respect your partner’s nakedness – “Where else are we as vulnerable as we are during sex?” asks Jude Cotter, Ph.D., psychologist and sex therapist in private practice in Farmington Hills, Michigan. “We are naked, physically and spiritually, and there’s an obligation to be sensitive to that vulnerability.”
During extended foreplay, air taken up into the vagina will sometimes escape in little farts the French call “love butterflies.” A woman should feel comfortable letting fly a few butterflies in front of her lover, or saying or doing whatever else she wishes, without fear that such intimacies will be later violated. To violate the privacies that are shared during sex should be a crime. (It’s not just a spy who traffic in pillow talks).
Remember to say thank you – if you thank the bagboy at the grocery store for helping you load the car, shouldn’t you also always thank your lover for more important favors? (There are plenty of ways to say thank you, of course, and some of the nicest ones don’t require words.)
Keep some things secret – what people say during orgasm, more lyrically known as “birdsong at morning,” is private and should be kept secret. The Indians didn’t keep parrots or mynah birds in their bedrooms because of how readily the birds pick up and repeated such privacies – so don’t you do it, either.
