By Blue Rose on Tuesday, 8 of September , 2009 at 3:05 pm
Sometimes it’s hard to know what makes men tick. So we researched some of guy’s most baffling antics. Check out these fascinating explanations.
Why do guys play pointless games? – Stacking cans and shooting wads of paper into the trash may seem dumb to you, but he can’t help it. “Guys have a need to achieve a sense of competence, even if the skills have no purpose,” says Judy Kleinfeld, EdD, professor of psychology at the University of Alaska at Fairbanks.
Why is it that as soon as a relationship gets serious, some guys get malabo? – You’ve finally decided to be exclusive, and he suddenly starts pulling away. What the hell? Well, men in relationships often feel physically torn in two different directions. While oxytocin, the bonding hormone, is making him want to attach to a girl, the testosterone in his system is telling him to break free and maintain his independence, according to Michael Gurian, author of What Could He Be Thinking?
What do guys find so funny about fall-down, kicked-in-the-groin humor? – As a rule, people tend to laugh at things that make them uncomfortable, and for men, getting hurt is their worst nightmare. “Guys are afraid of being emasculated, so when they see it happen to someone else, like the three stooges or in Dumb and Dumber, they laugh, almost relieved it’s not them,” explains George Weinberg, PhD, author of Why Men Won’t Commit.
Why do guys spend hours surfing around on their computers or gadgets? – Call it crazy, but he actually enjoys seeing how far he can push the thing until it breaks. “Then he can have the pleasure of fixing it and learning how it works,” says Kleinfeld. “The more he explores, the greater the likelihood that he’ll find new features.” It’s a toy to him, not a functional object.
Why do so many men seem oblivious to clutter and mess? – You might be annoyed by the piles of clothes and papers scattered all over his house, but he may not notice! “Because of biology and socialization, women feel pressure to create a warm, comforting environment,” says Weinberg. “But a man’s pride is outside of the home. His office may be pristine, but the look of his apartment is not a priority.
Why do guys respond to a long e-mail with two sentences? – You wrote an entire novel describing your day, and he responded with something like “That’s cool. Let’s do Chinese for dinner.” Annoying? Absolutely, but it’s not personal. “For most men, the purpose of communication is just to deliver information, not to connect t another person,” explains Weinberg. “If he reads a long e-mail, he’ll weed out the points he needs to address. Responding to every detail just doesn’t seem necessary to him.”
By Blue Rose on Wednesday, 2 of September , 2009 at 2:21 pm
Hershey’s syrup, whipped cream, and a Cat woman mask. Yes, yes, we were thinking the same thing: Nothing beats a woman who purrs. But what if you’re still trying to get to the next level of your relationship? Well, that’s where the fun comes in.
“Ultimately, fun is the best aphrodisiac,” says Paul Joannides, author of The Guide to Getting It On! “Quit looking for sexy and look for fun instead—and you’ll end up having more sex.” We like the way this guy thinks. That’s why we brainstormed these adventures (with some help from experts and our female friends).
Read more: http://www.menshealth.com/mhlists/fun_date_ideas/index.php#ixzz0Pjx1wcNf
By Blue Rose on Monday, 31 of August , 2009 at 2:00 pm
Enough is enough
Insecurity is the one thing in common between the abuser and the abused. Abuse in an intimate relationship is an assertion of dominance by someone, who believes in the necessity of using violence, by whatever means, to censure, punish or discipline… it is a type of power tripping exerted by the male to establish superiority over the female. Eventually, the girl will come to believe that it’s her fault that’s he is being beaten.
There was a student who was also a model and her boyfriend was very jealous. “He slashed her thighs with a box-cutter so she would stop wearing miniskirts, which her boyfriend disapproved of because other guys were looking at her legs.” The girl wanted to kill herself when she confessed to her best friend, the girl broke down and admitted that it wasn’t the first time her boyfriend hurt her. “He had even set her hair on fire with lighter fluid while accusing her of being a “slut” and “prostitute” because he saw some pictures of her in Boracay with several guys he didn’t recognize.” Yet, for over a year, she put up with hid dehumanizing treatment because he threatened her with greater harm if she left him. It took the slashing incident for her to finally say, “enough is enough” and call it quits.
A new study confirms that females who have been battered are more likely to suffer from chronic depression, catch stress related illnesses, attempt suicide, and be subjected to forced sexual relations than those who were only verbally abused or emotionally neglected by their parents. Usually while the girl is being bashed and kicked, there is an accompanying barrage of cursing and disparaging criticism guys who hurt their girlfriends are often described as manipulative, jealous and domineering, which s psychologically damaging.
Danger zone
Though there are a lot of factors that may cause someone to be abusive (or be the abused), such as a history of family abuse, the influence of friends, the wrong values promoted by mass media, and living in a “macho” (and sometimes chauvinistic) society, these usually don’t completely explain it. Likewise, there is no sure way of telling whether your beloved boyfriend is a possible abuser and when he will strike, although there are danger signs that should put you on your guard.
Estella, 16, didn’t wait around for it to happen. “During a heated argument, my then-boyfriend shouted curses at me, then picked up a chair and smashed it against the wall. I got terrified. That same night, I decided to break up with him for good.” If you feel that he might (physically) hurt you, leave the relationship at once. You should learn how to trust your instinct (the little voice in your head, telling that “No, this isn’t right anymore”) or else you will find yourself like Estella.
Some young decent man says, “We don’t need to hit our girlfriends to make them behave, because just harsh, intimidation and bad words are enough,” hah! Is that so? Some of the girlfriends also say, “The infliction of pain on them, as long as it’s not overly physical is seen as a sign or proof that their boyfriends love them.”
I am shocked that some girls regard it as normal, albeit unpleasant, fact of life. The Coalition Against trafficking in Women-Asia-Pacific (CATW-AP), teaches the adolescent boys that females are not to be treated as commodities, but as human beings who are their co-equals. Meanwhile the girls must be encouraged to develop, at an early age, strong self-esteem that is based on their capabilities and character, rather than relying on what others – especially males – think about how they should behave. Girls, don’t be so stupid and naïve when it comes to love, think of it for so many times, when you think your boy has the capabilities of doing the abusive things, “better be off; than be knocked off”…OK!
By Blue Rose on Monday, 31 of August , 2009 at 8:06 am
We wish every woman treated sex as if it were a Jason Statham movie — nonstop action, lots of screams, 20 explosions per minute. If you feel the same way, maybe it’s time you traded in your silent partner for someone a bit more adventurous. Someone who knows enough sex tricks to write her own HBO series. Follow our advice and you won’t have to look far. She’s sleeping next to you. Yeah, that’s right, the very same woman in the long flannel nightgown, who nodded off during The Office at 8:30. Well, it’s time for a wake-up call.
PROBLEM: She initiates sex about as often as Libya initiates peace – While one survey showed that nearly two-thirds of women say they initiate sex at least sometimes, the bad news is that she counts occasional hair-flipping as initiation. At least once every few weeks, it’d be nice to have our shirts torn apart by someone other than the dry cleaner.
SOLUTION: Buy her new shoes – It works two ways. One, you’re playing into her idea of foreplay: Doing something terribly nice and out of the ordinary makes her want you more. And, even more important, it gives you the chance to work all of those sensitive nerve endings in her feet. When you check her for fit, linger around the tips of her toes. Don’t be surprised if she kicks off her shoes as soon as you get home.
PROBLEM: She hides her body under sheets, pillows, and you – You’ve spent your life imagining your body next to airbrushed babes from beer commercials. She’s spent the same time comparing herself with them. If she doesn’t like to reveal flesh, it’s probably because she’s not comfortable showing it off to you.
SOLUTION: Stop telling her how much you love her legs – Women is weird this way. “If you say something nice about her breast, she’ll just wonder why you don’t like her butt,” says Pamela Regan, Ph.D., a psychologist at California State University in Los Angeles. Go for general compliments. Tell her, “Your body is incredible.”
PROBLEM: Your bedroom sounds like high-school detention — silence, with maybe a few giggles – Men love it when women moan, scream, and pant. It makes it sound — to the flight attendants, anyway — as if we know what we’re doing.
SOLUTION: Create chaos – If she’s quiet, it’s probably because she’s afraid of waking the guards. So create background noise to make her feel relaxed — run the dishwasher, have sex in the shower, drop a CD. You can even sing a little: When you’re giving her oral sex hum along. The low vibrations from your vocal cords will feel incredible to her. Press firmly with your lips; that are where you’ll generate the most vibration.
PROBLEM: She’s squeamish about giving you oral sex – Maybe she’s shy, maybe she doesn’t know what you like, maybe she equates oral sex with an unpleasant circus trick.
SOLUTION: Turn her hands into a bumper – Lou Paget, author of How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure, gives seminars on proper oral-sex technique. So she’s a hero in our book, especially after she shared this tip for mouth-to-south resuscitation. When your partner starts giving you oral sex, take her hands off your thighs and hold them with yours (she’ll like that). Then guide her hands to your penis so they form a tube around it. As her mouth goes up and down, rotate her hands clockwise and counterclockwise. The bonus for you: Different tactile sensations make it feel even better than straight oral sex. The bonus for her: smooth sailing will boost her confidence. Her hands will act as a comfortable bumper between the 3 inches of her mouth and the 5 inches (or more) of your penis.
PROBLEM: She won’t lay a hand on you – There’s no reason why foreplay has to be limited to kissing, unhooking straps, and kicking the dog out of the room.
SOLUTION: Tell her your neck hurts – Sex without fondling is more of a drag race than a pleasure trip: No warm-up and you’ll be lucky if it lasts 3.2 seconds. Your goal is to have her take a few laps around your body, with several important pit stops. Start by complaining of a stiff neck. After she helps out, offer to do hers. Switch body parts back and forth. When she starts reaching your lower half, take her hands and have her position one hand vertically, the other horizontally — palm to palm. She’ll then lower these palms of pleasure over your penis. When she strokes you, your penis will slide up between her fingers. Use a little Astroglide and she’ll have you bleating out of her hand.
PROBLEM: Her orgasms roughly coincide with congressional elections – Her orgasms don’t just make her feel good; they’re an undeniable marker of your success as a sex machine. The fewer she has, the wimpier you feel.
SOLUTION: Distract her – The top cause of orgasmic difficulty in women is that they’re thinking about it too much, says Mark Elliott, Ph.D., a sex therapist. If you can keep her mind on other things, you increase the chances that her quakes will be picked up by the geology department at the local university. Try “69,” kiss her passionately while having intercourse, encourage her to tell you about her fantasies as she gets more and more aroused — anything to keep her from focusing on why she’s not having an orgasm. If that fails, tell her about this position: While she’s on top, she should push her left leg forward so it slides slightly toward your head (her knees stay bent) and gently slide her right leg toward your feet. Every few thrusts, she should alternate positions. The pelvic pressure this position creates — and the rotation around your penis — is pretty damn orgasmic. If she asks where you heard about it, do what we do: Say you read it in a magazine.
PROBLEM: She won’t experiment – For many women, it boils down to this: She thinks that if she tries fancy techniques, you’ll think she’s a slut.
SOLUTION: Give her a squeaky-clean source of dirty ideas (and cheesecake recipes) – Buy her a subscription to Redbook — surprisingly, by our count, an average issue has more information about sex technique than other women’s magazines. Do whatever you want to get it in your house: Tell her you found it on the train, or in the men’s-room stall. It won’t be long before she’s searching for “35 New Places to Touch a Man.”
Source: Menshealth
By Blue Rose on Saturday, 29 of August , 2009 at 4:12 pm
Did you know about the table manners, speaking manners, and everything about proper manners in our life? Well if you know all those, I guess there’s one manner that you don’t know and I think you should know and learn.
It is also called the sexual etiquette, miss manners can tell you which fork to use at a garden party or explain the elaborate protocol of weddings. But who’s to explain the etiquette of sex? Pardon the presumption, but here’s a rough sketch of an ethic of sexual decency – guidelines to ensure that we treat our lovers with kindness, decency, playfulness, and pleasuring.
Remember the golden rule – “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” works as well between the sheets as it does anywhere else.
Take the time to make yourself desirable – in longtime marriages, and even in longish relationships, lovers tend to let themselves go to seed without really sensing how unfair that it is to their partner. You notice when your partners comes to bed with face or legs covered with stubble, or without having showered, or with un-brushed teeth. Why shouldn’t your partner notice when you do the same? You may feel desire, but is you don’t take the trouble to make yourself desirable, is it really fair to ask for sex?
Ask for what you want – it’s not fair or right to present yourself to a lover and say, in effect, “Here’s my body – see if you can figure out what to do with it.” For one thing, if you don’t know how to ask for what you want, you’re virtually guaranteed not to get it. For another, by not helping your partner satisfy you, you’re setting him (or her) up for failure, touching off the tumble toward blame, anger and recrimination. If you have the strength and self-respect to ask, it will help your partner do the same.
Make sure that was a yes – you need to be sure that your partner has given full consent to sex. Sexual etiquette means nothing if it doesn’t honor this basic sexual right. And consent is not something that required only of college kids on a date. Its question of propriety tat applies to any sexual relationship, even a married one.
Take no for an answer – if your partner can tor wont give you what you want (oral sex, say), then it’s unfair to bully or browbeat them into giving it anyway. To pressure a lover by withholding love, threatening them or making the feel unworthy constitutes kind of sexual blackmail. A ‘no’ may not always last forever. It’s acceptable to ask again later, if you do so in kind, undemanding way.
Take responsibility – you need to take responsibility for your own sexual needs and desires accept them with reverence and gratitude – and let your partner know what they are.
Respect your partner’s nakedness – “Where else are we as vulnerable as we are during sex?” asks Jude Cotter, Ph.D., psychologist and sex therapist in private practice in Farmington Hills, Michigan. “We are naked, physically and spiritually, and there’s an obligation to be sensitive to that vulnerability.”
During extended foreplay, air taken up into the vagina will sometimes escape in little farts the French call “love butterflies.” A woman should feel comfortable letting fly a few butterflies in front of her lover, or saying or doing whatever else she wishes, without fear that such intimacies will be later violated. To violate the privacies that are shared during sex should be a crime. (It’s not just a spy who traffic in pillow talks).
Remember to say thank you – if you thank the bagboy at the grocery store for helping you load the car, shouldn’t you also always thank your lover for more important favors? (There are plenty of ways to say thank you, of course, and some of the nicest ones don’t require words.)
Keep some things secret – what people say during orgasm, more lyrically known as “birdsong at morning,” is private and should be kept secret. The Indians didn’t keep parrots or mynah birds in their bedrooms because of how readily the birds pick up and repeated such privacies – so don’t you do it, either.
By Blue Rose on Monday, 3 of August , 2009 at 1:35 am
Sometimes we close our eyes and just listen to the echoes of our hearts. We all fall in love and there are times we lose ourselves in our emotions. More, often than not, we wonder why there are loves that grows, and love that grows cold. We would start to search for an answer and try to find where love has gone wrong. But in the end, we find ourselves where we started for we cannot question love when it has its own reasons. Love will always be as it always has been…silent, mysterious and deeply profound.
Many of us believe that love is forever, that love never dies, only to be disillusioned in the end when we find our hearts longing. We mistakenly have looked at love as a need to be fulfilled. But love is only a gift given to us. We should not hold it in our hearts for we way never find the strength to let it go when it decides to leave. We should only embrace its warmth and glow while it last and then freely open our arms when its time to say goodbye.
When we fall in love with someone, we don’t want that feeling to end for it is everything we are, everything that we wanted to be. We pray that love will stay and grow in our hearts. But, if it doesn’t, then we should never let our lives be taken by it, for life should not end where heartaches begin.
There is always a reason why we have to move on. When we have to say goodbye to the feelings we wanted to stay forever, let us not wave our hearts with heavy feelings. For love have to set its wings free and find the place where it belongs. We may have lost it but then again, when we close our eyes and listen to the echoes of our hearts, we will hear that feelings resounding silently forever.
Then we’ll know that it has never left us, for the good that we have become because of love will always stay. It will always be there reminding us that we should be thankful and happy, not because we have lost love, but because, for once in our lives, that feelings lived in our hearts and made us happy.
By Aries on Friday, 24 of July , 2009 at 1:01 am
To love and to be loved can be the most wonderful feeling we can experience. No amount of joy can surpass the happiness that we feel when we are in the arms of the person we love the most. When we are in love, it seems that everything in our life is fine, that everything is on its place. A state of equilibrium and high morale will engulf our whole being.
Somewhere along the way, destiny can be so cruel to take away the person that makes each day of our life a fairytale. Our world would start to turn upside down and we just find ourselves empty and broken. Myriads of things would start pouring into our minds but at the end of the day we are left with millions of questions. The hardest to answer could be “how could these things happen?” or “where do I start from here?”.
When it comes to love, each of us can have our different story to tell. Nonetheless, all of us can be on the same predicament, which is finding the strength to let go of the feelings that we can’t live without. Though there were able to find their way out of the melancholy of emptiness and despair, many are still trapped or even buried in the tormenting agony of accepting our destiny and learn to let go. Here are some few ways to get over the pain which will hopefully help you move on.
Dwell on the past. Yes, I’ve said it, dwell on the past and let yourself reminisce each moment you’ve spent together. Ironic isn’t it? But sometimes it’s only through allowing ourselves to find painful joy in the broken pieces of our past that we can start to feel tired and willingly wave our hands and give up. When that happens, we can start the next step towards totally letting go. After all, suppressing our feelings and holding back the tears is bad to our nervous system.
Commit to accept. It is pointless to say you gave up and after a few days you start to dwell on the past again. You have to decide whether you want your life to be miserable forever by living with the past or start again and find joy. Once you’ve decided, you need to commit to yourself that you will accept your fate. Total acceptance will allow your state of mind to focus on moving on instead of holding on. This will help you learn to appreciate the brighter side of things and eventually lead you to a new dimension in life.
Plan, plan, plan. Divert your mind by planning out a lot of things, things that can keep you busy or excited. Having something to look forward can plant a seed of happiness into your heart. Indulge yourself into activities that you seldom do. Join a charity group, volunteer, engage into sports, adventure trips, organize events, there are a lot to do out there. Doing worthwhile things and the sense of accomplishment you acquire from it will surely pep up your life.
Love yourself. Sometimes, when we fall in love, we tend to neglect ourselves, our personal goals and plans because every move we make seems to consider our behalf. Now is the right time to contemplate on what you really want to do with your life, what you wanted to attain. It is through loving ourselves and getting to know ourselves even more that we can start to move out from the doomed world that covered us. It is through loving ourselves that we can start to find the light again and start a new life filled with excitement, happiness and hope.
By Blue Rose on Sunday, 17 of May , 2009 at 3:29 pm
Is it possible to get “hooked” on sexual pleasure, just the way people get addicted to alcohol or drugs?
In the recent years, the question has become one of the hottest debates in psychology. On the other hand, many responsible sex experts claim there are a huge number of people who’s craving for the “high” of sex – usually promiscuous, anonymous sex – can legitimately be considered a true addiction. In extreme cases, these addicts hunt so obsessively for illicit sexual stimulation that it wrecks their marriages, careers and physical health.
On the other hand, other authorities complain that “sex addiction” is a fad diagnosis for something that cannot be legitimately be considered a true addiction at all. Some believe, if anything, it’s a problem more closely related to compulsions like anorexia than addictions like alcoholism. Others note that if this problem is addiction, it’s the only one whose “cure” doesn’t require complete abstinence. (After all, you can live without alcohol or drugs, but it would be both unhealthy and unrealistic to ask people to live without sex.)
How many sex addicts are there? Dr. Carnes estimates there may be as many as 7 to 14 million population, and then there is 3 to 6 percent of the population has this disease. The most common form of addict is the person who flits from affair to affair and may occasionally visit prostitutes, porn shops, or blue movies. Although he or she feels ashamed and is secretive about such behavior, it continues even despite effort to stop.
How can you tell if your sexual urges have started to run out of control? Dr. Carnes suggests that you consider the following factors. If most of the answers to the pertinent questions are yes, there may well be an element of unhealthy compulsion in your sexual behavior.
Feelings of despair. After sex, do you have feelings of shame, despair, and emptiness?
Secrecy. Do you feel a need to keep your sexual behavior a secret? Do you thrive on the thrill of leading a clandestine “double life”?
Abuse. Do you engage in sexual practices that are abusive or exploitative? Do you have sex with partners who are not completely willing?
Empty relationships. Do you have sex with partners whom you don’t really even know – or worse, whom you don’t even like?
Compromised values. Does your sexual behavior consistently violate your ethical values?
