By Blue Rose on Wednesday, 3 of August , 2011 at 10:23 pm
On July 1 the government made it even more expensive and difficult for couples with one Dane and one non-EU partner to live together in Denmark.
Among other changes, the fee for the famously tough family reunification application was raised to 7,775 kroner – a 30 percent hike – while the compulsory four-year cash guarantee was raised from 63,000 to 100,000 kroner.
Information newspaper calculated that all told the cost of family reunification – once fees, tests, and cash securities are tallied – is now 168,131 kroner per couple, plus or minus a krone.
For young international couples, it is even tougher to stay together in Denmark, because current family reunification rules also stipulate that both partners must be at least 24 years old.
Katrine Villumsen and Jessie Villarreal are one young, international couple who have had to come up with creative solutions to be able to stay together.
Villumsen, a journalism student from the Funen town of Faaborg, was taking a year abroad to study in Santa Barbara, California, when she met Villarreal, a young opera singer from Riverside, California. They were both just 19.
They fell in love and after six months moved in together. In their second year together, they began thinking about a more permanent solution for their residency issues as an international couple. To complicate matters, marriage was not a solution for the lesbian couple, as US immigration laws do not recognise same-sex relationships.
“I think it would be easier for a Somalian to immigrate to the US than to Denmark, but in our case, it’s easier for me to immigrate to Denmark than for Katrine to immigrate to the US,” Villarreal told The Copenhagen Post.
So two years ago the couple decided they had a better future in Denmark, where their relationship is at least recognised by law, and where – someday when they are old enough – they can apply for family reunification as a couple.
“My desire to live in Denmark is greater than my desire to live in the US and I feel safer here. Danish people are more apathetic about being gay,” Villarreal said. “In the US people either love you or hate you for being gay.”
As both women were just 21 years old in 2009 – still too young to apply for family reunification – it was now Villarreal’s turn to use a student visa to stay with her partner.
With foreign student tuition and no eligibility for the national student stipend, the decision came at a high cost. Since both are still students, they don’t earn much. But together they managed to get by, working part-time, scrimping, saving and taking out loans.
But last month when Villarreal got a tuition bill of 100,000 kroner for her final year of studies at The Royal Academy of Music – with 50,000 kroner due in just two weeks and 50,000 more in September, they had no idea what to do.
Their life together depended upon her student visa. If she could not pay, she would have to leave the country. Without any expectation of success she decided to post a blog asking for loans or donations to raise the money.
“[It was] a desperate plea. I felt pathetic writing it. But the responses were amazing.” Villarreal said.
Some 14,000 kroner in donations from strangers and friends poured in. Villarreal’s colleagues at The Cockney Pub in Århus arranged two “Save Jessie’s Arse” concerts that raised another 4,000 kroner. Another colleague she barely knew offered her a no-questions-asked, interest-free loan of 20,000 kroner.
An even bigger loan of 50,000 kroner was offered by an international couple who knew first-hand the difficulties of getting family reunification in Denmark: Katrine’s Danish cousin and his Polish wife. They met as students in Norway and had to borrow money from his parents for their family reunification. Years later they were in the position to pass along the favour to a younger international pair struggling with immigration issues.
Villarreal and Villumsen both said they could not help but contrast the outpouring of generosity and trust from strangers and acquaintances eager to help with the tone of suspicion and distrust for immigrants in the political debate and family reunification rules.
“There must be somebody supporting all these immigration rules, but it’s not the people we’re surrounded by,” Villumsen said.
The governing Liberal Party’s immigration spokesperson Karsten Lauritzen defended the tougher immigration rules, including the higher costs and so-called ‘points system’ by which foreign partners earn ‘points’ to qualify to stay in Denmark through university degrees and other benchmarks.
“When we get better applicants, we also bring in people who are better prepared to become integrated,” Lauritzen told Politiken newspaper earlier this month.
Villumsen sees things a different way.
“In Denmark we have Jante Law, where everyone is supposed to be equal and nobody is better than anybody else,” she said. “But now it’s turning into the situation where if you have a better education, then you get to go first in line. We need people doing all types of work and it shouldn’t matter if you come from India, the US, or wherever.”
“I just think it’s a shame that you can’t be with the person you love in the country you come from, just because it comes down to nationality,” she added.
When Villarreal finishes her Bachelor’s degree next year she will lose her student visa and the couple’s immigration worries will start all over again. But by then, they both will be 24 years old and will have lived together in Denmark for three years. They plan to form a civil union in September.
Then they will be eligible to apply for family reunification – as long as they can put 100,000 kroner in the bank.
Source: ScandAsia.com
By Blue Rose on Sunday, 12 of September , 2010 at 2:37 pm
These men are featured in this issue, we asked them of what they think of girls.
Q1. Do men or women tend to want to speed up relationships?
Ted: ”Guys like to go with the flow and keep ur options open.”
Mike: ”Sometimes you secretly want those milestones. You just don’t want her to see it.”
Sigfred: ”If you start seeing a woman and have sex, it’s only a matter of time before she asks, ‘Where’s this going?’ but most guys don’t want that milestone to come along. We’d like the stage where we’re just having sex to last forever!”
Q2. Do guys ever ask the question, ‘So where is this going?’
Erik: ”I think asking is tempting fate. You might not like the answer.”
Ted: ”Yes, but if a girl wants to know where we’re going, i need to know where she thinks we’re going first.”
Q3. How soon after meeting a girl do you start calling her your girlfriend?
Mike: ”You’re more likely to say it to your mates first, rather than her. I’ve been burnt like taht; jumping the gun.”
Sigfred: ”I’ve had quite a few girlfriends in my time but it was usually because they forced me into a corner. I met someone and knew that I wanted to be with her after only a week.”
Q4. How long should a girl wait before she has sex with you?
Mike: ”Not until she’s established where she is with a guy. If a woman sleeps with you early on, then asks where your relationships going, you’re going to say, we’re just having sex. If a girl doesn’t want to get hurt, she should work out what kind of relationship she wants before sex.”
Q5. Do men ever want to wait?
Erik: ”Every guy would love to have sex on the first date, but if you don’t then you actually apprecaite her more. A relationship outside sex builds a stronger bond.”
Q6. How do you feel when the girl starts leaving her toothbrush at yours?
Ted: ”As long as she doesn’t take control of the TV remote, that’s fine with me.”
Mike: ”She should ask first . I had a girl who left some knickers in one of my drawers. I called her and said, ‘next time you come over, you’ve got some stuff to collect.’ it didn’t go down well.”
Erik: ”Girls are like animals – they come round and leave stuff, like they’re marking thier territory.”
Q7. How about her meeting your parents?
Sigfred: ”I love with my mum so I’ll tell her when i’ts a serious girlfriend that I’m bringing home. But if she doesn’t warm to her she’ll pass comment infront of her. She’ll say, ‘I don’t like her, I’ve got a feeling’. I’ll say, ‘okay, Mum, we’ll talk about it later.”
Q8. Does it mean anything when you take a girl to a work do or wedding?
Mike: ”Work dos can be risky because you may behave differently when you’re with work colleagues.”
Sigfred: ”I ‘d have to be with a girl for at least two years before taking her to a wedding.”
Ted: ”I got an invitation to my cousin’s wedding, address to me and my girlfriend. That felt official.”
Erik: ”That means it’s official!”
Q9. How do you let a girl know she’s special?
Mike: ”Doing stuff that she mentioned shows her you’re paying attention.”
Ted: ”When i was serious about my girlfriend, I took her to Paris. I never normally do anything like that, so when i did that to her, it showed I really liked her.”
Erik: ”I’d rather show her I like her than tell her, so I’ll buy her stuff to make her happy.”
Q10. What should a girl do if your birthday is within the first few months of you seeing each other?
Ted: ”Birthday sex!”
Sigfred: ”If she just got me a card, I’d be happy with that.”
Q11. How long before you’ll go on holiday together?
Mike: ”You have to be girlfriend or boyfriend before that happens. It’s a massive one.”
Erik: ”I’ve known my girlfriend for six years but we’re going away on holiday for the first time this winter.”
Q12: Does it freaks you out when a girl starts relying on you for support?
Sigfred: ”I think it can be quite empowering when you’re the only one she turns to.”
Mike: ”So long as she doesn’t put it all on your shoulders. It should be a partnership.”
And so our featured guys go on with thier life as bieng single and continuing of what they believe to be the right thing to do about girls.
By Blue Rose on Saturday, 10 of July , 2010 at 10:56 am
Hello hello everybody! I’m back, just like McArthur said ”I Shall Return”, and here I am!
It’s been quite long since I had a vacation from writing, well guys the reason is I’ve been married, you can’t blame me from being away hehehe… but it’s good to be back in the circle again and here I am!
Well first of all, I want to share my precious moments from the start of proposing… ayayayyy… hehehe, planning and the grand day of my life, and of course I almost forgot the ”honeymoon”, hehehe… so hold on tight and prepare to explore my married life. Well its a quite long story, but I will make it short so you guys will not be bored.
Chapter 1- Proposing
Once upon a time, there was a princess who live in a castle far far away, ops! Sorry it’s not Shrek and Fiona, hehehe…
Ok, I meet this guy in one of the dating site found in the Internet, hey it’s the modern day of looking for your new partner in life you know. Well we catch up so fast, but he is in Europe and I am in the Philippines. Distance is not a hindrance for the person who is in-love. So for short he visited me in the Philippines, we celebrated Christmas and New Year together. Then again came back in the Philippines in February for his birthday, then we travel twice to Bangkok, Thailand in 1 year,first just 10 days then second is whole month holiday, what a holiday!
Later in September I went to Norway in Europe to visit him,such a nice country, but not so nice weather, I mean it’s very cold and snowing, well I have seen snow for the first time in life,I’m great full for that.
We go back to proposing, how did he propose marriage on me? Well we are in Bangkok, Thailand that time, we are having our 1 month holiday there. We decided to have dinner in Sky Hotel, the tallest hotel in Bangkok, we ate, talked and tour around the 83rd floor, then we went up to the revolving deck on top of 85th floor, it was very nice, you can see the whole Bangkok City.
Hmmmm… while I was enjoying my sight seeing, he start talking about marriage and plan about it, I am just listening, then he…
By Blue Rose on Wednesday, 3 of March , 2010 at 5:33 pm
Sometimes we thought love don’t exist, and most of all we thought it is not meant for us. So we end up not believing in love.
After all the pains and heartaches that we encounter and suffered, we thought that there will never be a happy ending for us. We keep the bad memories into our hearts and minds, trying to remember it when we are starting to find someone, so then we never give ourselves a chance to fall again as we are reminiscing the past.
We are afraid that it will happen again, it will cause us more heartaches, memories just keep on coming like a ghost of our life.
We never give a better thought of that, never knowing that the past and bad memories are the one that can heal our broken heart and shatered dreams. Keep remembering them, but not to get us hurt again, but to make us strong and fight for what is really meant for us.
All has a chance to love and be love, to make us happy and to build our dreams again. All has bad and good memories, but it will be up to us on how memories can help us rebuild our life and future.
Be strong, believe in yourself, never give up, and most of all ”DON’T BE AFRAID TO FALL IN LOVE AGAIN”.
Just like what this song is telling us:
One Last Cry
My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands, standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone wishing all my feeling was gone
I gave my best to you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry
Chorus:
One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I’m down to my last cry
Cry……
I was here, you were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me
Still I sit all alone, wishing all my feeling was gone
Gotta get over you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry
Chorus:
One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I know I gotta be strong
Cause round me life goes on and on and on
And on…..
I’m gonna dry my eyes
Right after I had my
One last cry
Chorus:
One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind for the very last time
Been living a lie
I guess I’m down
I guess I’m down
I guess I’m down…
To my last cry…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz-NhGanOAE
By Blue Rose on Tuesday, 24 of November , 2009 at 7:22 am
This is a comment story that I had recieved from a reader, I’m not overating Filipinas but, true or lies, believe it or not, it’s part of life and not only Filipinas do it.
“Relationships with Filipina helpers are more common than realized. When I lived in Hong Kong, we had a 27 year old lovely girl living with us. Although I was always a gentleman, I caught myself enjoying seeing her in the house because she was very attractive.
Shortly after my family left for home leave for the summer, I realize she was looking at my pornography in my bedroom. We were always friendly and I teased her that she could have permission to borrow it when she wanted. Once that barrier was crossed the inevitable happened. She admitted being so horny and would just be happy to have a physical relationship with me. Within two days she was in my bed having incredible success … filipinas have to bet the best lovers in the world.
She was very discrete about our relationship and never exposed me to anyone. She pointed out four other homes on our street where the helper was sleeping with the boss. I think having sexually frustrated young single women in a home with a married man is just asking for the inevitable. The wives have no idea of the temptations that develop as these women have very little other options for sex.
This went on for a year despite my repeated attempts to bring it to a halt. I felt guilty being her boss and about the deception around my family and of course she started developing feelings even though she promised she would not. Fear of pregnancy was constant as she constantly begged for sex without a condom … I would never relent. The lure of the amazing sex would always draw me back. Finally she make some off hand comments that made my wife suspicious … I was confronted and confess. Needless to say turmoil erupted as she was kicked out of the house and it took her a year to get her life righted as I also had to work on my marriage. I always felt guilty that she suffered from this as she was a friend and lover. Our replacement helper was 53 years old and as nearly as wide as she was tall. 
And now my mind is permanently wired to be attracted to filipina women!”
Men and women tend to be attracted and tempted to do such things especially if they very far from the family and partners in life, they may not admit it, of course, but it’s still there and still happening. They are just longing for some attention and love.
Many foreign men wanting to have Filipina wifes, why? Because Filipinas are sweet, caring, loving, family oriented, and hardworker, if you respect and give them love, they will give you back more.
By Blue Rose on Thursday, 19 of November , 2009 at 8:57 am
Have you ever felt that there is something missing in your relationship?
You have family that loves you, you have work that provides everything you need to survive, you have friends that can be there for you when you need them, except if they are busy, you have boyfriend girlfriend or husband/wife that adores you, if they adores you.
If they adores you? What does it mean? Yah, you have boyfriend/husband, girlfriend/wife but do you feel that they love you or even have just a little feelings for you not just the word ‘I Like You’.
Yah, you are being praised when you did something really good that he/she likes, but what do you feel when you are being compared to somebody else that has been in his/her life?
Does it feel like a sharp dagger that struck into your chest?
You are happy being with him/her and can be with him/her for the rest of your life, but does he/she feel the same?
You accept him/her as what he/she is, everything that connects in his/her life, but do you feel that you are still being ignored, set aside?
There is a line that maybe adapted in this situation, ‘I was never your partner, I’m just your wife/husband’. Does it applies in your life?
Have you figured out what is missing?
Respect. Acceptance. Love. Feelings.
By Blue Rose on Tuesday, 22 of September , 2009 at 5:53 pm
The Male Non-Negotiable
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“Trust is a topmost factor in a relationship, I was going out with someone I really liked before, but she already had a boyfriend. It didn’t bother me at first that she had to keep lying to her boyfriend whenever we were together – until I found out that she was doing the same thing to me. That was the real deal breaker. She turned out to be someone I would have a hard tie loving because I couldn’t trust her.” – Eric 27, restaurant manager
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“I had an ex-girlfriend who had a very tough time making her mind up about anything. And if she did decide on something, she would often change her mind at the most annoying of times. Even if she didn’t particularly enjoy the idea of something she’d say’ up to you,’ keep it to herself, and act sullen after, leaving me to wonder why. It quickly got quite frustrating. Everything would have been fine if she had only been a bit more decisive about things and more vocal with her opinions. For me, saying what’s on your mind is definitely better.” – Troy 27, accountant
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“Be open minded, understanding, and don’t make up stories based on your jealous frenzy. I once had an ex who would immediately suspect that I was flirting with a girl just because I was having a good conversation with her. Her baseless suspicions made me feel unnecessarily insecure whenever a girl talked to me. In the end, I couldn’t stand her pretty jealousy, so I broke up with her.” – Jack 32, executive manager
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“Long distance relationships are usually painful and upsetting, but sometimes a few guys come along that are actually willing to wait. Not all guys are dumb and insensitive. Remember that and maybe you’ll learn to give someone decent a fair chance next time.” – Eddie 30, research analyst
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“Some girls are so possessive and jealous. Give your guys some space and leave us alone once in awhile! We’ll end up coming back to you more often than you’d think.” – Robbie 28, IT analyst
Braving the Breakup
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“For goodness’s sake, don’t break up with a guy through text or email! Have the maturity and decency to break up with him face to face.” – Cholo 26, law student
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“When guys bail, we often have doubts about it. But let us deal with it on our own. We’ll beg you back when we finally realize we’ve lost you for real. That time, we’ll be so into the chase all over again.” – Robert 28, artist
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“When relationships are cut, they should be cut cleanly. There’s no use in going back to your ex to find what went wrong. A person has to find that out for his or her own self. Allot time to heal and do some self-reflection.” – Froilan 29, nurse
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“I’m not supposed to spill this out, but really, the best way to get back at someone who broke your heart is to be fine without him. When the girl we broke up with seems super fine, it affects our ego and we think,’Aba! Why in the world is she okay without me?” – Devy 30, chef
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“Don’t stay with your boyfriend just because you’re afraid to hurt him. If the feeling’s no longer there or you’re beginning to think about other guys, end your relationship right away. Be fair to your clueless boyfriend and to yourself..” – Albert 23, student
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“Even if we did the breaking up, we still second guess our decision. When you start begging us to stay. Our decision to leave just becomes more justified.” – Jerry 27, computer technologist
By Blue Rose on Sunday, 13 of September , 2009 at 6:02 am
How you live through fights
- “Do women really have to raise their voices to get their points across? Contrary to popular belief, men do listen and they’re easy to talk to – as long as they’re not being yelled at. Otherwise, they tune out.” – Hans, 28, artist
- “My ex-girlfriend would shower me with kisses whenever I got upset with her. It usually worked and my heart would soften. But because we never really talked about our issues and only resolved them physically, our communication wasn’t open and issues kept resurfacing because there was no proper discussion.” – Richard, 32, manager
-“Stop whining, nagging, screaming, and complaining about everything because it’s really irritating when a girl does these things if a girl has something on her mind, she should talk to her boyfriend nicely. Guys don’t like to fight. I would have preferred it if my ex appreciated all the things that I did for her instead of having complained all the time.” – Dennis, 30, businessman
Syncing up in the sack
-“I dated a single mom who was five years older than me and had three kids. In bed, we never had more than one round lovemaking. When she was satisfied, that was it. After two years she told me she didn’t have the energy for sex anymore and suggested I find a younger woman. I did – much to her regret.” – Francis, 27, singer
-“If you expect your boyfriend to go down you, please wash up first. Also, a little trimming wouldn’t hurt.” – Trevor, 28, racer
-“Be a bit more assertive in bed. If your lover isn’t performing up to par, tell him how he can improve. Be specific and don’t be shy. Don’t be afraid to hurt his ego. In the end, if he sees you’re enjoying, that’s a big ego boost for him. Encourage him tot el you also how you can be a better lover.” – Ben, 26, marketing manager
Matching your fundamentals
-“I’m a very family-oriented guy. I need a girl who understands that I will always be involved with my family. Sometimes I’ll need to drop a prior engagement with my girl to attend to family matters and an old girlfriend couldn’t understand that. She ended up feeling neglected and alone but didn’t know what else to do. As far as I knew, blood was thicker than water.” – Markus, 34, restaurateur
-“You know how people say that you’re supposed to be able to depend on each other? Well, there’s such a thing as being too dependent…” – Larry, 29, IT engineer
-“My ex-girlfriend had halitosis and it really put me off, but I couldn’t tell her. There were times she’d want to cuddle, like when we were watching a movie, and it killed me because her breath just smelled too much like spoiled saliva. When my own mother noticed her bad breath, I thought it was time to break it off. I wanted a girl whom I could proudly show off and be with, not one who repelled me – and my family and friends – physically.” – Garry, 33, teacher
