Bed Room Jokes
By My Blue Heart on Friday, 28 of August , 2009 at 2:47 pm
Let’s laugh out our problems for a while, here’s a bit dirty joke, but it’s the way you like it!
The Beard – a married man was visiting his girlfriend when she requested that he shave his beard. “Oh Larry, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face.” Larry replied, “My wife loves this beard. I couldn’t possibly do it. She would kill!” “Oh please?” the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice. “Really, I can’t,” he replied. “My wife loves this beard!” The girlfriend asked once more, he sighed and finally give in. That night, Larry crawled into bed next to his wife while she was sleeping. The wife was awakened, turned toward him, felt his face and said, “Oh Fred, you shouldn’t be here. My husband will be home soon!”
Spaghetti Baby – a doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to US and have the baby there. “But how will I let you know the baby is born?” she asked. He replied, “Just send me a postcard and write ‘spaghetti’ on the back. I’ll take care of the expenses.” Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to US. Six months went by until one day the doctor’s wife called him at the office. “Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from US, and I don’t understand what it means.” The doctor said, “Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you.” Later that evening, the doctor came home, read the postcard, fell to the floor with a heart attack. Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to comfort the wife. He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest. So the wife picked up the card and read, “Spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti-two with sausage and meatballs, two without.”
What’s the name daddy? – a high school girl finally had the opportunity to go to a party alone. Since she was a good looking, she was a bit nervous about what to do if boys hit on her. Her mom said, “It is very easy! Whenever a boy starts hitting on you, ask him ‘What will be the name of our baby?’ that will scare the off.” So off she went. After a while at the party a boy started dancing with her and, little by little, kissing her and touching her. She asked him, “What will be the name of our baby?” The boy found some excuse and disappeared. Some time later the same thing happened again, a boy started to kiss her neck, her shoulders. She stopped him and asked him, “What will be the name of our baby?” He ran off. Later on, another boy invited her for a walk. After a few minutes he started kissing her and she asked him, “What will our baby be called?” He continued, now slowly taking her clothes off. “What will be the name of our baby?” she asked once more. He began to have sex with her. “What will be the name of our baby?!” she asked again. After he was done, he peeled off his condom, tied it in a knot and said, “If he gets out of this one…David Copperfield!”
Grandma’s boyfriend – a ten year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, “Grandma, how come you don’t have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?” Grandma replied: “Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch at all day long. The religious programs make me feel good and the comedies make me laugh. I’m happy with my TV as my boyfriend.” Grandma turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible. She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem. The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door, and there stood Grandma’s minister. The minister said, “Hello son is your Grandma home?” the little boy replied, “Yeah, she’s in the bedroom banging’ her boyfriend.”
