Life and Love of a Filipina

The Ex Files #3

By Blue Rose on Tuesday, 22 of September , 2009 at 5:53 pm

The Male Non-Negotiable

  • “Trust is a topmost factor in a relationship, I was going out with someone I really liked before, but she already had a boyfriend. It didn’t bother me at first that she had to keep lying to her boyfriend whenever we were together – until I found out that she was doing the same thing to me. That was the real deal breaker. She turned out to be someone I would have a hard tie loving because I couldn’t trust her.” – Eric 27, restaurant manager

  • “I had an ex-girlfriend who had a very tough time making her mind up about anything. And if she did decide on something, she would often change her mind at the most annoying of times. Even if she didn’t particularly enjoy the idea of something she’d say’ up to you,’ keep it to herself, and act sullen after, leaving me to wonder why. It quickly got quite frustrating. Everything would have been fine if she had only been a bit more decisive about things and more vocal with her opinions. For me, saying what’s on your mind is definitely better.” – Troy 27, accountant

  • Blue hills
  • “Be open minded, understanding, and don’t make up stories based on your jealous frenzy. I once had an ex who would immediately suspect that I was flirting with a girl just because I was having a good conversation with her. Her baseless suspicions made me feel unnecessarily insecure whenever a girl talked to me. In the end, I couldn’t stand her pretty jealousy, so I broke up with her.” – Jack 32, executive manager

  • “Long distance relationships are usually painful and upsetting, but sometimes a few guys come along that are actually willing to wait. Not all guys are dumb and insensitive. Remember that and maybe you’ll learn to give someone decent a fair chance next time.” – Eddie 30, research analyst

  • “Some girls are so possessive and jealous. Give your guys some space and leave us alone once in awhile! We’ll end up coming back to you more often than you’d think.” – Robbie 28, IT analyst

Braving the Breakup

  • “For goodness’s sake, don’t break up with a guy through text or email! Have the maturity and decency to break up with him face to face.” – Cholo 26, law student

  • “When guys bail, we often have doubts about it. But let us deal with it on our own. We’ll beg you back when we finally realize we’ve lost you for real. That time, we’ll be so into the chase all over again.” – Robert 28, artist

  • “When relationships are cut, they should be cut cleanly. There’s no use in going back to your ex to find what went wrong. A person has to find that out for his or her own self. Allot time to heal and do some self-reflection.” – Froilan 29, nurse

  • “I’m not supposed to spill this out, but really, the best way to get back at someone who broke your heart is to be fine without him. When the girl we broke up with seems super fine, it affects our ego and we think,’Aba! Why in the world is she okay without me?” – Devy 30, chef

  • “Don’t stay with your boyfriend just because you’re afraid to hurt him. If the feeling’s no longer there or you’re beginning to think about other guys, end your relationship right away. Be fair to your clueless boyfriend and to yourself..” – Albert 23, student

  • “Even if we did the breaking up, we still second guess our decision. When you start begging us to stay. Our decision to leave just becomes more justified.” – Jerry 27, computer technologist


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The Twisted Truth

By Blue Rose on Wednesday, 26 of August , 2009 at 8:30 am

Girls, did you think you’ve got your date all figured out? Well, don’t be too sure!

Movie time – you are on your first date, and the cinema gets cold. You tell him you’re getting chilly, and he lends you his jacket.

You’re thinking: “he’s being such a gentleman; he’s such a sweet guy.”

On the other hands: so many things can be going on his head. First of all, he’s probably feeling unpleasantly cold himself. If you think about it, he didn’t really have a choice. Not giving you his jacket after you told him you were feeling cold would have made him a total pig. He could also be hoping that you don’t take his actions the wrong way. This being the first date, he may still be unsure about his feelings for you. He could even be a bit worried that you interpret this as a romantic gesture.

freinds dinner dateEye to eye moment – during a boring class, you happen to glance at that special guy and catch him staring at you. You lose consciousness for half a second, and when you look again, he’s pretending to look straight at the teacher.

You’re feeling: tingles up your spine as that corny yet exciting romantic rush takes over your mind.

On the other hand: he’s most probably in a state of panic. Guys hate losing their smooth and suave style by getting caught staring at that special girl in the middle of the day. It turns their self-perception from a cool and stylish James Bond to a silly little boy with a crush on a girl. Indeed, something like this makes them feel a bit embarrassed and may cause them to be uncomfortable for quite a while.

On the phone – you call him on his cell while he is with friends. He talks to you in the most stone-cold, emotionless tone ever. You try to fight it with the sweetest of sweet talks, but all you get is a distant, “I’ll call you later.”

You’re thinking: “he is so mean! He’d better be begging for forgiveness when he calls me later!”

On the other hand: he is most probably just as upset by what happened. A guy can talk to you in goo-goos and gah-gahs. He can give you the corniest food related pet names. He will make those silly kissing sounds and even say good night to your teddy bear. How ever, in front of the boys, he is one tough guy! Trying to make him behave like his normally sweet self while in their company is like forcing the president to do the Macarena on TV.

The dinner date – there’s one last piece of your shared main course (a piece you’d be too embarrassed to get). Without asking you, he gets it with his fork, puts it on his plate, and starts eating it.

You’re thinking: “how rude! Didn’t his parents teach him any manners? This is the worst date ever!”

On the other hand: your date could be so glad he can go out and feel so comfortable with someone like you. Yes, guys will be guys, and they will always love their food. If it were an uptight and uncomfortable put-your-best-foot-forward kind of date, he would surely have offered you that last piece, or maybe even left it there untouched. Here’ however, he is obviously so comfortable around you that it makes him feel he can let his guard down and simply be himself. And that’s a good thing, trust us.

 The good night kiss – your date drives you home. When his car stops in front of your house, you lean over to give him a friendly beso (kiss) on the cheek. Unexpectedly, he turns to you and kisses you on the lips.

 You’re thinking: “what the…? That was inappropriate!”

 On the other hand: he may think he just made the smoothest maneuver of all time. He starts seeing himself as one of those charming guys in American TV series he secretly likes to watch, and begins to think that he’s got you figured out. Although he may be a bit nervous and uncertain, he will not admit this to you or to himself. He will continue to feel proud of that “big kiss!”

friend drinking

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