By Blue Rose on Wednesday, 9 of September , 2009 at 7:00 am
Learn from your past – and be the best girlfriend
You need not wish an ex-boyfriend ill. Instead, make better use of your time and emotions by taking advantage of bitter breakups and dude dramas – and coming out the truly better half.
It didn’t work out. Now what? Whether your boyfriend ducked out or you called it quits, truth is, you can learn a thing or two from each failed relationship. Ultimately, it’s you – because you have full control over how your next relationship can be better. Here, we help you pick up self-improvement cues from your ex-boyfriend’s raves and rants. Listen closely and learn how to makeover your girlfriend style and ready yourself for Mr. Next.
What Makes You Girlfriend Material
- “Having ambition and goals is a big turn-on for guys. Men may base their first impressions on women’s looks or sense of humor, but we really do looks for hints as to how a woman’s personality will pan out in the long run. Will she be dependable, or will she just drag a man down?” – Sandy, 32, manager
- “A girl should go out with someone who’s more like her. I think my ex was a bit too aggressive and neurotic for me while I was laidback and lazy. We both tried to compromise by becoming more like the other person. That led a lot of tension and unneeded resentment.” – Nathan, 27, call center agent
- “Pretty girls are used to being chased by guys. So when they get into a serious relationship, they forget that they have to sacrifice all the fun flirtations of the single life. If one man adoring her isn’t enough, then she should just stay single.” – Teddy, 22, student
- “Many girls take nice guys for granted. And when the jerks they end up with start breaking their hearts, they wonder what happened! Those girls should screw their heads on straight and see that nice guys are here to stay – for the long haul!” – Francis, 30, Engineer
- “Though the sweet, mahinhin type is appealing for many guys, we don’t particularly want to have a partner who’s as meek as a worm (read: no backbone). On a first date, girls should tell guys where they’d like to go or what they’d like to eat, and be open to their date’s suggestions as well. Guys like girls who are confident, but not too bossy.” – Patrick, 26, executive manager
Managing Relationship Expectations
- “My ex would get infuriated with me whenever I forgot to text her, ‘Good night. I love you’ before going to bed. If I didn’t text her, I would wake up with at least 10 text messages in my mobile phone – all from her, telling me what an inconsiderate ass I was. The issue got really old very quickly and I couldn’t stand her insecurity anymore, so I dumped her.” – Mel, 33, accountant
- “I like a woman who has no problem with ‘guy time.’ My friends will always be a part of my life. A woman can’t replace then and she certainly can’t make me choose between her and them.” – Paulo, 27, teacher
- “I can’t stand it when girls get so clingy. They start whining about being alone and hopeless without me at their beck and call all day long. My ex-girlfriend used to do that and I ended up leaving her because she just didn’t understand. I have my own life and if a girl can’t handle that, then we aren’t meant.” – Dan, 29, banker
-“My ex had a split Jekyll and Hyde personality when it came to showing affection. She was the sweetest, most loving girl who would shower me with kisses and give me tight embraces – but only when we were alone. In public, she was as stiff and cold as a corpse. I would simply hold her hand and she would reject me. I didn’t like the fact that I couldn’t show to the world how much I adore my girl. It eventually turned me off.” – Randy, 30, graphic artist
There are still more coming’ up, stick with me and you will surely know everything that man’s thinking about their girlfriends. I’m sure you will get a lot of tips from them on how to be the best girlfriend ever, win and melt their hearts. See you.
By Blue Rose on Tuesday, 8 of September , 2009 at 6:05 pm
Dating a guy who’s still hung up on a former flame is asking for heartbreak. Here are signs he hasn’t moved on.
- He talk’s trash – you may think his admission that his ex was a two-timing b#@$% is a sure sign that he’s done with her, but that degree of passion – even it it’s in the form of anger – proves that he’s still emotionally connected to her.
- He has nothing to say – once a guy has moved past a relationship, he should be able to admit it was painful or say what he learned from it. But if they were together for a stretch of time and he acts all “whatever,” it shows that he hasn’t truly grieved the relationship and come out the other side.
- They’re best friends – though plenty of exes do wind up on decent terms, being BFF with an ex right away is sketchy. If their lives are that entwined, there’s good chance one of them is holding out for a reunion.
- He absolves her – whether she bailed or he let The One get away, its bad news if he thinks his last love could do no wrong. Since his imagination has reinvented her as an angel, you’ll never be competing with her halo.
If he is showing this signs, it means he’s still hook up with his ex, and can’t move on. Help him forget her and do your best so that his mind will be yours forever. Be his best companion, best friend and play mate not just his girlfriend.
I will give you the tips on how you can be the best girlfriend.
By Blue Rose on Tuesday, 8 of September , 2009 at 3:05 pm
Sometimes it’s hard to know what makes men tick. So we researched some of guy’s most baffling antics. Check out these fascinating explanations.
Why do guys play pointless games? – Stacking cans and shooting wads of paper into the trash may seem dumb to you, but he can’t help it. “Guys have a need to achieve a sense of competence, even if the skills have no purpose,” says Judy Kleinfeld, EdD, professor of psychology at the University of Alaska at Fairbanks.
Why is it that as soon as a relationship gets serious, some guys get malabo? – You’ve finally decided to be exclusive, and he suddenly starts pulling away. What the hell? Well, men in relationships often feel physically torn in two different directions. While oxytocin, the bonding hormone, is making him want to attach to a girl, the testosterone in his system is telling him to break free and maintain his independence, according to Michael Gurian, author of What Could He Be Thinking?
What do guys find so funny about fall-down, kicked-in-the-groin humor? – As a rule, people tend to laugh at things that make them uncomfortable, and for men, getting hurt is their worst nightmare. “Guys are afraid of being emasculated, so when they see it happen to someone else, like the three stooges or in Dumb and Dumber, they laugh, almost relieved it’s not them,” explains George Weinberg, PhD, author of Why Men Won’t Commit.
Why do guys spend hours surfing around on their computers or gadgets? – Call it crazy, but he actually enjoys seeing how far he can push the thing until it breaks. “Then he can have the pleasure of fixing it and learning how it works,” says Kleinfeld. “The more he explores, the greater the likelihood that he’ll find new features.” It’s a toy to him, not a functional object.
Why do so many men seem oblivious to clutter and mess? – You might be annoyed by the piles of clothes and papers scattered all over his house, but he may not notice! “Because of biology and socialization, women feel pressure to create a warm, comforting environment,” says Weinberg. “But a man’s pride is outside of the home. His office may be pristine, but the look of his apartment is not a priority.
Why do guys respond to a long e-mail with two sentences? – You wrote an entire novel describing your day, and he responded with something like “That’s cool. Let’s do Chinese for dinner.” Annoying? Absolutely, but it’s not personal. “For most men, the purpose of communication is just to deliver information, not to connect t another person,” explains Weinberg. “If he reads a long e-mail, he’ll weed out the points he needs to address. Responding to every detail just doesn’t seem necessary to him.”
By Blue Rose on Sunday, 30 of August , 2009 at 12:00 pm
The consequences of having sex when you’re in your teens don’t seem to be real. Statistics after statistics have shown us that while the number of teens having experience with sex is not declining, knowledge on STDs and birth control methods (whether natural or artificial) is not on the rise. Proof of this is the fact that one-third of women between the ages of 20 to 24 years old gave birth to their first child before turning 21, and that “of the estimated 1.7 million babies being born every year, around 30 percent comes from young women,” cites Philippine Obstetrical and Gynecological Society (POGS) in a press conference.
College student Lily, who admits to being sexually active, also ‘fesses up that she and her boyfriend don’t us any kind of protection. “I don’t want to take pills and my boyfriend isn’t too keen on using a condom,” she says. “Sometimes we abstain, but when we do it, I just really hope that I don’t get pregnant. I don’t worry about the other bad stuff because my boyfriend is faithful to me and we’re young. So far we’ve been lucky.”
Relying on luck though when it comes to life-altering choices is never ever that reliable. But the problem is most teens don’t think that those choices they’re making about sex now can alter their lives to begin with. According to many studies on adolescent psychiatry, most teens fail to see how their actions now will affect their future. Have sex now, worry later. Others, without knowledge on what they’re getting into, don’t even know what to worry about.
The risk of early premarital sex
Although unwanted pregnancies and STDs are the more immediate consequences teens might face due to early sexual activity, what’s happening to their body should also be of concern. As adolescents are still in a stage of development, so are their reproductive organs. Because when you engage in early sexual activity, you’re exposing the immature cells (in your developing reproductive organs) to external environmental factors – like the coitus (or intercourse). The cervix is not yet ready to take on the kind of activity. So what happens is through the years the cells grow into dysplastic or abnormal cells. Those developing abnormal cells put one at high risk in developing cervical cancer. Another risk factor is promiscuity, the more partners you have, that’s also a problem. The good thing is cervical cancer doesn’t happen overnight; however, this just makes the risk not all that immediate, hence not a reality for many sexually active teens. But the risk is so real; more than half of women who developed cervical cancer later in life became sexually active at an early age.
How do you stop yourself from being at risk?
- The most sensible (and obvious) way is to wait it out. Postpone having sex until you’re emotionally and biologically ready for the responsibilities and consequences sex entails.
- If you’re already sexually active, be monogamous. Having different sexual partners increases your chances of acquiring different STDs and developing a reproductive tract cancer (the most common of which is cancer of the cervix).
- Be aware of your body. If you’re not sexually active or if you’re monogamous, if you get infection in the cervix – characterized by a lot of vaginal discharge, which can be abnormal in color or with an abnormal smell – consult your family physician or gynecologist. Don’t let such infections go untreated because they can develop more abnormalities in your cervix.
- As soon as you start having sex or at the age of 25, you should get an annual pap smear screening.
By Blue Rose on Sunday, 30 of August , 2009 at 6:05 am
Love is often associated wit broken hearts. But the darker side also reveals cuts, bruises and broken lives. These are real stories of abusive boyfriends and how Filipina woman were able to break away from the violence.
It started with hard hand squeezes, with is nails digging into her skin. Anne, 21, says that her ex-boyfriend, Mark, did that whenever she said something he didn’t like, even if she did it in a very nice way. Soon, Anne’s fingers and palms were full of small, but painful wounds and bruises. She’d cover up her boyfriend’s abuse by saying that the scratches were made by her pet cat. However, not all were convinced by her act. “We had a feeling that something was wrong when Anne became sullen and withdrawn,” relates Michelle, one of Anne’s friends. “She didn’t hang out with our friends like before. Medyo nagagalit nga kami dati kasi pakiramdam namin e kinukontrol siya ni Mark; he was over possessive.” (We were a bit angry before because we felt that Mark was controlling her; he was over-possessive.) However, no one in their group asked Anne whether Mark was abusing her. “We don’t like to get in their lives, because they may think nakiki-extra kami,” Discloses Michelle, though she quickly adds that she now wished she did.
The abuse became more severe when Anne, upon finding out that Mark cheated on her, confronted him. Mark suddenly grabbed her by the throat and started choking her. “I thought I was going to die, I couldn’t breathe,” recalls Anne, tearfully. It was obvious from her demeanor during the interview that she hadn’t fully recovered from the trauma, which happened nearly two years ago. Mark only released her when another student heard her frantic cries and rushed into the classroom to help her. Though she initially considered filling charges against Mark with their campus disciplinary office, she decided not to because she didn’t wan to make the incident public. Today, though they have both graduated from college, Anne is still distressed. “I don’t want to see Mark again, or be reminded of him because I always remember what he did to me. I am so bitter that he made me emotional cripple. I now have a hard time trusting others – what more get into a new relationship.”
The Stigma of the Abused
According to the Philippine Republic Act Number 9262, or “An Act Defining Violence Against Women and Their Children” (VAWC) includes girlfriend abuse in its definition of “Violence against Women,” which refers to “Any act or a series of acts committed by any person has or had a sexual or dating relationship, which result in or is likely to result in physical, sexual, psychological harm or suffering, or economic abuse, including threats of such acts, battery, assault, coercion, harassment or arbitrary deprivation of liberty.”
According to Amparita Sta.Maria, a lawyer and the director for the Women’s Desk of the Ateneo Human Rights center and a professor of Gender and the Law in the same school, even though the VACW is a recently implemented legal remedy, she concedes that cases are very much underreported. “Disempowerment of women is widespread,” she laments. “In a conservative patriarchal culture like ours, abuse in the context of a relationship is still deemed by many to be a private matter or a domestic issue. Those who are informed of the abuse, and even some authorities, may dissuade a woman from pushing through with her complaint. A victim may also choose to remain anonymous for fear that her abuser will get back at her.”
“There are several reasons why girlfriends who have been abused by their partners are reluctant to speak out,” theorizes Dr. John Sanchez, a psychiatrist who specializes in juvenile development. “Among them is the stigma attached to it although it may be true that the victim often has a dependent, needy type of personality, many girls understandably do not want to be branded as such because insensitive people might pre-judge them, saying na sinasaktan sila kasi pinapayagan nila and sarili nilang abusuhin (they are being abused because they are letting themselves to be abused). The blame is shifted to them when in the first place, violence should never be inflicted upon anybody, whatever her personality.” 
Did u learn something girls? Well if you do, then I think it’s time to change the abusive part. But it’s not trough yet, I still have part two of the story, read more and learn more, catch up for the next post.
You’re comments and suggestions are gratefully accepted.
By Blue Rose on Thursday, 27 of August , 2009 at 12:38 pm
This is a true to life story of some young Filipina and Filipino, which are born a princess and prince, with golden spoon in their mouth, with beautiful and new things whenever they want to have, with servants and personal maids that always follow their command, and fly in every country where they wanted to go.
But then something changed their life, from riches to rags. How can they live? How can they cope up?
1st Story: Once Upon a Princess
Think haciendera with sugar, coffee plantations, farms, vast of lands with workers, and a mestiza class. Stephanie, though illegitimate, lived like a don’s daughter – born with a house in Forbes Park, multiple Cadillac’s, and a Brent – School education. “We had relatives in high places, and my dad was the one who took care of the clan’s much business.”
Unfortunately, her family’s business transactions with the government went awry. Her dad, a womanizer who partied hard, was also too lax with his family’s money, loaning huge amounts to cousins (which never got paid). “We are losing money, while our relatives got wealthier.”
“We had to move to a shabby, poorly constructed house. Suddenly, the maids were gone, the luxury trips disappeared, and only one old car was left in the garage.”
Stephanie passed the entrance exam at one of the top universities in the country, but couldn’t afford the tuition fee. She ended up in a junior college in the province, which also became too expensive. So she went back to Manila to continue her studies at a so-so college. Without a part-time job, he had to literally beg her older half-siblings in the US and her dad’s rich friends to lend her some money for school. “Kinain ko talaga pride ko (I really eat my pride). I had to sweat blood and work hard for the things I needed. Pahirapan’ ang paghingi ng pera (asking and begging for money become so hard).”
Stephanie recalls a loving and generous dad from his childhood. But he no longer has that now. Her dad would always remind him to study and work hard for the sake of her younger siblings. “I was scared of failure. I didn’t want to disappoint my dad. I’d often find myself crying whenever I’d do something that seemed to embarrass him, like not passing the entrance exam of one university. I did everything he wanted, but all I ever got from him were accusations of selfishness and scorn.”
“Once, I couldn’t take the humiliation anymore – people talking about what happened to our family, begging from relatives, the hard life – so I found myself in tears. Before, some people would snub me because I’m a bastard girl; now, they snub me because I’m a poor bastard. My life now is a far cry from my childhood. Back then, I had helpers who spoke English, a chopper that fetched me from Brent, and plans for a US college education.”
I try to cope by forgetting I was once wealthy. Even if I still try to keep that air of aristocracy, I don’t live beyond my means. I never get to pursue the course I wanted because the pressure to excel was so great – but the thought of my rich, smug relatives keeps me going. Actually, I’m really worrying about the future of my younger siblings that pushes me to not waste my time thinking about my old life.”
2nd Story: Poor Little Rich Kid
Andrew had no dad, but his highly successful, workaholic mom made up for it by giving him everything he asked for. In short, what Andrew wanted, Andrew got. “Ako ang boss dati (I’m the boss before).”
Two years ago, Andrew’s mom died in a plane crash. Unfortunately, Andrew would only have access to his trust fund when he turned 21. “I have access to some of the money, but these funds have been blocked by my aunt.”
Andrew rented a condo unit after his mom died, but couldn’t pay the rent. He also tried his hand at various types of business, but everything fell through. So he had to live with relatives. However, because of his bossy, “rich” attitude, he was turned away from every house he tried to stay in. the little money he had was wasted on drugs. “But I’ve stopped already.”
His cell phone, musical instruments, and computer were sold to make ends meet. Though he wasn’t made to pay the bills, he also couldn’t take the “poor lifestyle.” “I really tried to live a simple life, but having grown up with everything. I couldn’t help but feel frustrated with my life as a penniless guy.”
He had only one possession left – his car. Andrew put college on hold for two years. When he felt it was time to go back, he decided to sell his car to have money for tuition. “My car was like my home. But if I was to make something of myself until I got my trust fund, then I had to go back to school. The money from selling the car won’t see me through college. But I’ll handle that problem when it arises.”
“Even if I have girlfriends and relatives, I still feel alone. Before, it was my mom and me against the world. Now, it’s just me against everyone. I can’t say I’ve adjusted to having no money. I’m just so full of pain and anger. Kung buhay ang mommy ko, hindi mangyayari ‘to! (If my mom was alive, this will never happen!) Kapag nakikitira ka, its important na makisama ka. (If you’re not living in your own house, like relatives, it’s important that you get along with them.) I couldn’t hack it, so I moved out. Now, I’m living my life on my own.”
You can also share your story with us, it’s never a shame full move to tell people of what you are before, and instead you give them inspiration, people who had experiences like you, may get lots of lesson from your story.
By Blue Rose on Saturday, 15 of August , 2009 at 8:32 am
Any woman can look beautiful if she feels beautiful. Feeling beautiful makes you feel good about life, increases your self-confidence and lifts up your mood. Here are reasons why beauty is every woman’s asset that she should assert.
Beauty is innate to women – all women are born with it. Each possesses a unique grace and confidence, which ultimately defines her beauty. Whatever shape or size, a woman’s body has curves that make a sensual silhouette and delicate features, which seem like intricate details of a work of art. Sadly, some woman can’t see beyond their flaws that they cover themselves up as much as they can; not knowing that being beautiful begins with loving and appreciating one’s own body.
Beauty is a matter of respect – being beautiful is not a question of whether you’re pretty or plain, young or old, thin or not thin – simply put; it’s not what you look; it’s how you project yourself. A good appearance shows that you respect yourself. When you take time to relax, take care of your skin, fix your hair and dress up. People see that, and they pay respect you, too.
Beauty reflects a sound mind and body – having balanced lifestyle shows in the way you see and deal with the things around you. A clear head makes you focused and keeps you from doing sloppy job, while a relaxed and good mood perks up your physique and helps you relate with others better. When you’re at peace with yourself, whatever the circumstances – wet weather, traffic jam, or gossipmongers – can’t ruin your day.
Feeling beautiful comes from within – when you feel and accept that you are beautiful, you don’t need to be conscious of people throwing second glances at you for assurance. Feeling beautiful inside will most definitely reflect on the outside that others are able to see. Surfacing your inner beauty gives you the ability to hold your head up with confidence and face the world upfront.
Simple tips in preserving beauty
Small simple habits count a lot to revealing your beauty.
- Drink plenty of water – apart from hydrating; water purifies the body by removing toxins and waste.
- Catch up on at least eight hours of beauty sleep – your body needs as much time to recharge and rejuvenate itself after the day’s activities.
- Exercise regularly – you don’t need to hit the gym everyday. Taking the stairs, cleaning your pad, or grooving to some music makes a world of difference.
- Put a smile in your face – it accentuates your face, brightens a gloomy day and gives off positive vibes!
- Indulge in your favorite past time – a relaxing bubble bath, reading a good book, or soothing music make you feel wonderful!
Source: Cosmo
By Blue Rose on Saturday, 15 of August , 2009 at 2:56 am
More women will be promoted to top government jobs under a new law on woman’s rights signed by Philippines’ President Gloria Arroyo Friday, officials said.
The law compels the government to boost the number of women in higher-level positions “to achieve a 50-50 gender balance” within five years, said Myrna Yao, head of the National Commission on the Role of Filipino Women.
The statute also bans discrimination against women in the workplace and promotes non-discriminatory and non-derogatory portrayals of women in media and film.
“Women in marginalized sectors are better protected under the law,” Leila de Lima, head of the government’s Human Rights Commission told reporters at the signing ceremony.
“Also in terms of work, in terms of employment opportunities, more recognition of woman’s rights is embodied.”
Yao said the statute also requires the government to provide training in human rights and gender sensitivity to all members of the civil service.
Philippine embassies abroad will train consular officials to handle concerns of woman migrant workers.
Local governments are required to set up district-level desks to investigate cases of violence against women, while working women who undergo surgery for gynecological disorders will be granted leave for two-months.
A Philippine Commission for Women will be created to draft the law’s implementing rules and regulations, as well as monitor compliance, according to the text of the legislation.
The Philippines office of the UN Development Programmer hailed the statute in a statement, calling it “comprehensive human rights legislation that seeks to eliminate discrimination against women.”
