The 29 year old, who works as an au pair in a Danish family, says she has to babysit for the family and can’t make it.
Carstensen met her at the beach last week, when the woman contacted her to ask for help.

The woman said, she had worked for three weeks without a day off. Her workdays stretch from early morning to late evening, and she has no time off in the middle of the day either.

This is against the regulations for au pairs in Denmark, in which the young women are only allowed to work for five hours a day, six days a week, unless they get economical compensation.

Carstensen is used to hearing these kinds of stories. Every Sunday, she attends mass at the Pentecostal Church on Drejevej at Nørrebro, where she councils aupairs from the Philippines. Carstensen herself came to Denmark fromthe Philippines as a child in 1986, because her mother had married aDanish man. She speaks perfect Danish, English and two Philippinedialects.

One of the very first au pairs she spoke to, told her thatshe worked 24-7 and had never had a day off. She outlined some of herduties, which included polishing windows on the second floor of abuilding and cleaning the gutter.

Carstensen realized that the womanwas being abused, and wrote to the Danish Immigration Service.

She never heard back. She says that many au pairs have children at home, but decide not to tell their host families. Carstensen insists oncalling them “au pair-women” instead of the popular Danish term ”aupair-girls”.

http://avisen.dk/au-pair-worker-fights-the-abuse_129842.aspx

Lotta is a famous singer here in Sweden, she also host some events like Bingo and Lotto. She’s  beautiful and simple, can I say like me…hehehe, just kidding…
The people started to feel alive when Lotta comes out and the show started, including the excitement that we are live on television, both Sweden and Norway. For all who doesn’t know, Liseberg is a big gaming park in Goteborg, Sweden.
There are 3 special guests, they are Anna, Jill, and Rico. They are great singers.

We all have fun, dancing and singing with them, it’s really great to be part of live concert. The camera was just passing through our seats, my friend always tries to wave to be seen and focused by the lens, but no luck, hehehe, the camera doesn’t like us. Allthough we were not seen on tv, we are still greatful.

They played Bingo and so many prizes at stake, again no luck for our friends. The show went on for 2 hours, we are all very happy when it ends.

I hope I can watch a concert again.If you want to see my videos of the concert, just visit my facebook,http://www.facebook.com/#!/marj.cabana

Whatever the case, it is clear that the ground rules have changed. A new bilateral agreement with the Philippines will allow the Integration Ministry to stop au pairs using stays in Denmark to obtain permanent residence. Under the new visa rules, it will no longer be possible for an au pair to live with a family member in Denmark, or with a family of the same nationality as themselves.

The new rules seem to be aimed at controlling the mushrooming number of au pairs travelling here from the Philippines. In 2009, of the 2,773 au pairs registered in Denmark, 2,165 – or nearly 80 percent – came from the Philippines according to the latest figures from the Integration Ministry.  This means that the number of Filipino au pairs increased by 356 percent between 2004 and 2009, while the size of the Filipino community in Denmark grew by 76 percent from 4,721 to 8,317.

The ministry has also begun to run checks on the marital status of candidates for au pair visas. In a spot check carried out on 49 cases involving Filipinos, they discovered that over half had given false information and were therefore ineligible. To receive an au pair visa one has to be under the age of 30 and unmarried. Visas are also restricted to those who do not have young children in their country of origin.      Merete Pårensgaard, the head of department at the Integration Ministry, said that the new rules would be enforced to ensure that au pairs were coming to Denmark as part of a cultural exchange rather than for economic reasons.

‘They are not especially directed at Filipinos or reducing the number of au pairs,’ she said.  While there haven’t been any protests about tightening up the rules for au pair applicants, politicians and lobby groups fiercely disagree about the practice itself.  The government’s view on the matter seems to be laissez-faire. For instance Søren Pind, the development minister, wrote on his Facebook profile that the au pair system could be compared positively to sending foreign aid to developing countries.

However, this statement provoked the ire of the head of the development aid charity MS Action Aid Denmark.  ’Au pairs have absolutely nothing to do with development aid,’ Trine Pertou Mach told national daily Politiken. ‘Development aid is about transferring some of our wealth to the world’s poorest people. Are we going to invite to Denmark all the Africans who need to be saved from poverty?’

Her words were backed up by Niel Tofte, the general secretary of Care Denmark, who also thought that the minister was off the mark. ‘It is like comparing apples and pears, and one cannot do that,’ he told Politiken. ‘Au pair girls from the Philippines will not solve world poverty.’

Anne Gautier, who has been involved with au pairs for a number of years and is a member of a network to protect the rights of au pairs, said that she too strongly disagreed with Pind’s remark.      She describes the hardworking girls from East Asia as this century’s ‘skivvies’ – domestic servants who receive the worst pay and work under the worst conditions.  ‘I spent 30 years in Spain and saw the same situation there. Now it is happening here in Denmark too. It’s become chic for families to have an au pair who can look after children and do the house work for just 3,000 kroner a month,’ she said.

Gautier teaches Danish to foreigners at a Hellerup language school and estimates that she has been in touch with around 1,000 Filipinos during the last four years.  Instead of working as au pairs, she believes that they could contribute a lot more to Danish society if they were offered regular jobs. ‘Many of them would make excellent healthcare workers,’ she said. ‘They often speak much better English than Danes and have a strong work ethic. Unlike other minority groups, they adapt easily to Danish society.’

But she also pointed out that the problems with au pairs are not confined to the host countries. ‘The pressure on these girls comes from all sides,’ she said. ‘In the Philippines families also make unreasonable demandscv on these young women. They’ve become used to receiving support from them from abroad and there is a lot of corruption.

http://www.cphpost.dk/

In 2004, 48 Filipinos received a Danish work permit. By 2009, that number had increased more than sixfold, to 295 work permits, writes daily newspaper Politiken.

The health sector is the big draw, with former au pairs finding work as social and health workers or nurses. And with good reason.

For years, nursing school has been touted by the Philippine government because finding work abroad as a nurse is easy.

For decades, the Philippines have had the export of labour as a clear strategy because the nation is unable to create a sufficient number of jobs at home. And the country is heavily dependent on the billions of dollars that Filipinos working abroad send back to their families in the Philippines each year.

Vice-president of the Danish Nurses’ Organization, Dorte Steenberg, thinks that it is both natural and healthy for the nursing profession to have foreign nurses flock to Denmark.

http://www.dr.dk/Nyheder/Andre_sprog/English/2010/07/19/113718.htm

Hello hello everybody! I’m back, just like McArthur said ”I Shall Return”, and here I am!

It’s been quite long since I had a vacation from writing, well guys the reason is I’ve been married, you can’t blame me from being away hehehe… but it’s good to be back in the circle again and here I am!

Well first of all, I want to share my precious moments from the start of proposing… ayayayyy… hehehe, planning and the grand day of my life, and of course I almost forgot the ”honeymoon”, hehehe… so hold on tight and prepare to explore my married life. Well its a quite long story, but I will make it short so you guys will not be bored.

Chapter 1- Proposing

Once upon a time, there was a princess who live in a castle far far away, ops! Sorry it’s not Shrek and Fiona, hehehe…

Ok, I meet this guy in one of the dating site found in the Internet, hey it’s the modern day of looking for your new partner in life you know. Well we catch up so fast, but he is in Europe and I am in the Philippines. Distance is not a hindrance for the person who is in-love. So for short he visited me in the Philippines, we celebrated Christmas and New Year together. Then again came back in the Philippines in February for his birthday, then we travel twice to Bangkok, Thailand in 1 year,first just 10 days then second is whole month holiday, what a holiday!

Later in September I went to Norway in Europe to visit him,such a nice country, but not so nice weather, I mean it’s very cold and snowing, well I have seen snow for the first time in life,I’m great full for that.

We go back to proposing, how did he propose marriage on me? Well we are in Bangkok, Thailand that time, we are having our 1 month holiday there. We decided to have dinner in Sky Hotel, the tallest hotel in Bangkok, we ate, talked and tour around the 83^rd floor, then we went up to the revolving deck on top of 85^th floor, it was very nice, you can see the whole Bangkok City.

Hmmmm… while I was enjoying my sight seeing, he start talking about marriage and plan about it, I am just listening, then he…

]]> http://myblueheart.org/filipina/i-shall-return.html/feed 0 http://myblueheart.org/filipina/complicated-story-of-life2.html http://myblueheart.org/filipina/complicated-story-of-life2.html#comments Tue, 24 Nov 2009 06:22:56 +0000 Blue Rose http://myblueheart.org/?p=1529 More »]]> This is a comment story that I had recieved from a reader, I’m not overating Filipinas but, true or lies, believe it or not, it’s part of life and  not only Filipinas do it.

“Relationships with Filipina helpers are more common than realized. When I lived in Hong Kong, we had a 27 year old lovely girl living with us. Although I was always a gentleman, I caught myself enjoying seeing her in the house because she was very attractive.

Shortly after my family left for home leave for the summer, I realize she was looking at my pornography in my bedroom. We were always friendly and I teased her that she could have permission to borrow it when she wanted. Once that barrier was crossed the inevitable happened. She admitted being so horny and would just be happy to have a physical relationship with me. Within two days she was in my bed having incredible success … filipinas have to bet the best lovers in the world.

She was very discrete about our relationship and never exposed me to anyone. She pointed out four other homes on our street where the helper was sleeping with the boss. I think having sexually frustrated young single women in a home with a married man is just asking for the inevitable. The wives have no idea of the temptations that develop as these women have very little other options for sex.

This went on for a year despite my repeated attempts to bring it to a halt. I felt guilty being her boss and about the deception around my family and of course she started developing feelings even though she promised she would not. Fear of pregnancy was constant as she constantly begged for sex without a condom … I would never relent. The lure of the amazing sex would always draw me back. Finally she make some off hand comments that made my wife suspicious … I was confronted and confess. Needless to say turmoil erupted as she was kicked out of the house and it took her a year to get her life righted as I also had to work on my marriage. I always felt guilty that she suffered from this as she was a friend and lover. Our replacement helper was 53 years old and as nearly as wide as she was tall.

And now my mind is permanently wired to be attracted to filipina women!”

Men and women tend to be attracted and tempted to do such things especially if they very far from the family and partners in life, they may not admit it, of course, but it’s still there and still happening. They are just longing for some attention and love.

Many foreign men wanting to have Filipina wifes, why? Because Filipinas are sweet, caring, loving, family oriented, and hardworker, if you respect and give them love, they will give you back more.

I will share a true story, based from what I have gathered from the person involved. I had met personally this Filipina that is the main character in this story. Read carefully and understand.

Here’s how it began.

At the age of 29 she is still single, working very hard as a Domestic helper in Hongkong. Being a helper in Hongkong is a very hard work, or I may say wherever you go, if your a helper it’s really hard. Working full time in a house is very hard. If you’re staying with your employer, as long as you are not sleeping you have to serve them. Unfortunately to those helper who have a very hard employer, they can’t get food, no extra time, no extra pay, no sleep, no weekend off work, most especially they are abused.

Well luckily it doesn’t happen to Cindy. But of course she worked hard for her employer, she spent two years in Hongkong. Then she went back to the Philippines when she finished her contract. Staying in the Philippines is very hard if you don’t have a job. It’s not a kind of good for Cindy. She must have a job, or else they will starve and her body is not used if she doesn’t have work.

Decided, she went to an Internet Caffee, she searched for a job, then she found one, as an Au pair in London. It’s a good opportunity she said to herself. She contacted the family and they arranged everything. Time to fly, but it’s a kind of tough flight, she have to stop over to some country before London. Well, nothing is tough or rough if it will be a good opportunity to travel in UK and Europe.

She arrive the destination safely, her host family is waiting for her at the Airport, her job is to take care of the not so old man, and the house where he lived in. It’s quite good job and not so hard work for her.

Time passed by, she liked her job and not to mention that she is having a hidden relationship with her employer, well they are living together in the same house and the old man is alone. Her life is kind of good compared before, of course supported by her employer aside from the salary that shes gaining. But she can’t marry an old man she said.

Thinking that she will be living in three months time, she is prepared to go home. But unfortunately, she get pregnant, what a tragic. You are having sex, even if its old it can possibly make you pregnant, not thinking of that consequences, she’s shattered.

She told the old man, but he is too old to take responsibility, so they must think of a solution. In two months time she will go back home. What can they possibly do to solve the problem? It’s a very big problem.

The old man think of a possible solution. His son. She will seduced his son, the old man said. His son is divorced and has three children.

So the plan must implemented very quickly. They began to do it. The old man invited his son for a dinner and told him that he must visit him very often because he is too old to travel and visit his son and children. Not knowing the plan that the two had build, he agreed.

He often visit his father and Cindy is trying to seduce him. They dated many times. The end of their plan is coming, he seems to like Cindy and they began to have sex. Everything seems to be ok now they thought. After having sex for many times, after a month she told her that she’s pregnant. He is surprised but not shocked because he knows that it will happen as they don’t use any contraceptive. She also told him that she’s soon going back to the Philippines. So he decided that she must live with him in his own house and tell the authority that she is bearing his child, so she can stay longer. In the law one foreigner is authorized to live longer if she’s pregnant and the father will claim that it’s his child.

At last the plan had succeed. She lived with the son now. But after two months, he found out that it’s not his child, and the truth shocked him, his father is the father of the baby. What a life?!

His father explained everything, knowing that it’s also his own blood, he accepted the fact that it’s his not his child.

Now Cindy’s womb is in 6 months way, she’s still living with the son, and the father is still supporting her and the baby. Well, at least the baby saved her from going back home.

What can you say? What a life isn’t it? It’s just one of the story of a fact of life.

]]> http://myblueheart.org/filipina/a-complicated-story-of-life.html/feed 2 http://myblueheart.org/filipina/the-ex-files2.html http://myblueheart.org/filipina/the-ex-files2.html#comments Sun, 13 Sep 2009 05:02:48 +0000 Blue Rose http://myblueheart.org/?p=1495 More »]]> How you live through fights

- “Do women really have to raise their voices to get their points across? Contrary to popular belief, men do listen and they’re easy to talk to – as long as they’re not being yelled at. Otherwise, they tune out.” – Hans, 28, artist

- “My ex-girlfriend would shower me with kisses whenever I got upset with her. It usually worked and my heart would soften. But because we never really talked about our issues and only resolved them physically, our communication wasn’t open and issues kept resurfacing because there was no proper discussion.” – Richard, 32, manager

-“Stop whining, nagging, screaming, and complaining about everything because it’s really irritating when a girl does these things if a girl has something on her mind, she should talk to her boyfriend nicely. Guys don’t like to fight. I would have preferred it if my ex appreciated all the things that I did for her instead of having complained all the time.” – Dennis, 30, businessman

Syncing up in the sack

-“I dated a single mom who was five years older than me and had three kids. In bed, we never had more than one round lovemaking. When she was satisfied, that was it. After two years she told me she didn’t have the energy for sex anymore and suggested I find a younger woman. I did – much to her regret.” – Francis, 27, singer

-“If you expect your boyfriend to go down you, please wash up first. Also, a little trimming wouldn’t hurt.” – Trevor, 28, racer

-“Be a bit more assertive in bed. If your lover isn’t performing up to par, tell him how he can improve. Be specific and don’t be shy. Don’t be afraid to hurt his ego. In the end, if he sees you’re enjoying, that’s a big ego boost for him. Encourage him tot el you also how you can be a better lover.” – Ben, 26, marketing manager

Matching your fundamentals

-“I’m a very family-oriented guy. I need a girl who understands that I will always be involved with my family. Sometimes I’ll need to drop a prior engagement with my girl to attend to family matters and an old girlfriend couldn’t understand that. She ended up feeling neglected and alone but didn’t know what else to do. As far as I knew, blood was thicker than water.” – Markus, 34, restaurateur

-“You know how people say that you’re supposed to be able to depend on each other? Well, there’s such a thing as being too dependent…” – Larry, 29, IT engineer

-“My ex-girlfriend had halitosis and it really put me off, but I couldn’t tell her. There were times she’d want to cuddle, like when we were watching a movie, and it killed me because her breath just smelled too much like spoiled saliva. When my own mother noticed her bad breath, I thought it was time to break it off. I wanted a girl whom I could proudly show off and be with, not one who repelled me – and my family and friends – physically.” – Garry, 33, teacher

You need not wish an ex-boyfriend ill. Instead, make better use of your time and emotions by taking advantage of bitter breakups and dude dramas – and coming out the truly better half.

It didn’t work out. Now what? Whether your boyfriend ducked out or you called it quits, truth is, you can learn a thing or two from each failed relationship. Ultimately, it’s you – because you have full control over how your next relationship can be better. Here, we help you pick up self-improvement cues from your ex-boyfriend’s raves and rants. Listen closely and learn how to makeover your girlfriend style and ready yourself for Mr. Next.

What Makes You Girlfriend Material

- “Having ambition and goals is a big turn-on for guys. Men may base their first impressions on women’s looks or sense of humor, but we really do looks for hints as to how a woman’s personality will pan out in the long run. Will she be dependable, or will she just drag a man down?” – Sandy, 32, manager

- “A girl should go out with someone who’s more like her. I think my ex was a bit too aggressive and neurotic for me while I was laidback and lazy. We both tried to compromise by becoming more like the other person. That led a lot of tension and unneeded resentment.” – Nathan, 27, call center agent

- “Pretty girls are used to being chased by guys. So when they get into a serious relationship, they forget that they have to sacrifice all the fun flirtations of the single life. If one man adoring her isn’t enough, then she should just stay single.” – Teddy, 22, student

- “Many girls take nice guys for granted. And when the jerks they end up with start breaking their hearts, they wonder what happened! Those girls should screw their heads on straight and see that nice guys are here to stay – for the long haul!” – Francis, 30, Engineer

- “Though the sweet, mahinhin type is appealing for many guys, we don’t particularly want to have a partner who’s as meek as a worm (read: no backbone). On a first date, girls should tell guys where they’d like to go or what they’d like to eat, and be open to their date’s suggestions as well. Guys like girls who are confident, but not too bossy.” – Patrick, 26, executive manager

Managing Relationship Expectations

- “My ex would get infuriated with me whenever I forgot to text her, ‘Good night. I love you’ before going to bed. If I didn’t text her, I would wake up with at least 10 text messages in my mobile phone – all from her, telling me what an inconsiderate ass I was. The issue got really old very quickly and I couldn’t stand her insecurity anymore, so I dumped her.” – Mel, 33, accountant

- “I like a woman who has no problem with ‘guy time.’ My friends will always be a part of my life. A woman can’t replace then and she certainly can’t make me choose between her and them.” – Paulo, 27, teacher

- “I can’t stand it when girls get so clingy. They start whining about being alone and hopeless without me at their beck and call all day long. My ex-girlfriend used to do that and I ended up leaving her because she just didn’t understand. I have my own life and if a girl can’t handle that, then we aren’t meant.” – Dan, 29, banker

-“My ex had a split Jekyll and Hyde personality when it came to showing affection. She was the sweetest, most loving girl who would shower me with kisses and give me tight embraces – but only when we were alone. In public, she was as stiff and cold as a corpse. I would simply hold her hand and she would reject me. I didn’t like the fact that I couldn’t show to the world how much I adore my girl. It eventually turned me off.” – Randy, 30, graphic artist

There are still more coming’ up, stick with me and you will surely know everything that man’s thinking about their girlfriends. I’m sure you will get a lot of tips from them on how to be the best girlfriend ever, win and melt their hearts. See you.

- He talk’s trash – you may think his admission that his ex was a two-timing b#@$% is a sure sign that he’s done with her, but that degree of passion – even it it’s in the form of anger – proves that he’s still emotionally connected to her.

- He has nothing to say – once a guy has moved past a relationship, he should be able to admit it was painful or say what he learned from it. But if they were together for a stretch of time and he acts all “whatever,” it shows that he hasn’t truly grieved the relationship and come out the other side.

- They’re best friends – though plenty of exes do wind up on decent terms, being BFF with an ex right away is sketchy. If their lives are that entwined, there’s good chance one of them is holding out for a reunion.

- He absolves her – whether she bailed or he let The One get away, its bad news if he thinks his last love could do no wrong. Since his imagination has reinvented her as an angel, you’ll never be competing with her halo.

If he is showing this signs, it means he’s still hook up with his ex, and can’t move on. Help him forget her and do your best so that his mind will be yours forever. Be his best companion, best friend and play mate not just his girlfriend.

I will give you the tips on how you can be the best girlfriend.