By Blue Rose on Tuesday, 24 of November , 2009 at 7:22 am
This is a comment story that I had recieved from a reader, I’m not overating Filipinas but, true or lies, believe it or not, it’s part of life and not only Filipinas do it.
“Relationships with Filipina helpers are more common than realized. When I lived in Hong Kong, we had a 27 year old lovely girl living with us. Although I was always a gentleman, I caught myself enjoying seeing her in the house because she was very attractive.
Shortly after my family left for home leave for the summer, I realize she was looking at my pornography in my bedroom. We were always friendly and I teased her that she could have permission to borrow it when she wanted. Once that barrier was crossed the inevitable happened. She admitted being so horny and would just be happy to have a physical relationship with me. Within two days she was in my bed having incredible success … filipinas have to bet the best lovers in the world.
She was very discrete about our relationship and never exposed me to anyone. She pointed out four other homes on our street where the helper was sleeping with the boss. I think having sexually frustrated young single women in a home with a married man is just asking for the inevitable. The wives have no idea of the temptations that develop as these women have very little other options for sex.
This went on for a year despite my repeated attempts to bring it to a halt. I felt guilty being her boss and about the deception around my family and of course she started developing feelings even though she promised she would not. Fear of pregnancy was constant as she constantly begged for sex without a condom … I would never relent. The lure of the amazing sex would always draw me back. Finally she make some off hand comments that made my wife suspicious … I was confronted and confess. Needless to say turmoil erupted as she was kicked out of the house and it took her a year to get her life righted as I also had to work on my marriage. I always felt guilty that she suffered from this as she was a friend and lover. Our replacement helper was 53 years old and as nearly as wide as she was tall. 
And now my mind is permanently wired to be attracted to filipina women!”
Men and women tend to be attracted and tempted to do such things especially if they very far from the family and partners in life, they may not admit it, of course, but it’s still there and still happening. They are just longing for some attention and love.
Many foreign men wanting to have Filipina wifes, why? Because Filipinas are sweet, caring, loving, family oriented, and hardworker, if you respect and give them love, they will give you back more.
By Blue Rose on Thursday, 8 of October , 2009 at 7:09 pm
I will share a true story, based from what I have gathered from the person involved. I had met personally this Filipina that is the main character in this story. Read carefully and understand.
Here’s how it began.
At the age of 29 she is still single, working very hard as a Domestic helper in Hongkong. Being a helper in Hongkong is a very hard work, or I may say wherever you go, if your a helper it’s really hard. Working full time in a house is very hard. If you’re staying with your employer, as long as you are not sleeping you have to serve them. Unfortunately to those helper who have a very hard employer, they can’t get food, no extra time, no extra pay, no sleep, no weekend off work, most especially they are abused.
Well luckily it doesn’t happen to Cindy. But of course she worked hard for her employer, she spent two years in Hongkong. Then she went back to the Philippines when she finished her contract. Staying in the Philippines is very hard if you don’t have a job. It’s not a kind of good for Cindy. She must have a job, or else they will starve and her body is not used if she doesn’t have work.
Decided, she went to an Internet Caffee, she searched for a job, then she found one, as an Au pair in London. It’s a good opportunity she said to herself. She contacted the family and they arranged everything. Time to fly, but it’s a kind of tough flight, she have to stop over to some country before London. Well, nothing is tough or rough if it will be a good opportunity to travel in UK and Europe.
She arrive the destination safely, her host family is waiting for her at the Airport, her job is to take care of the not so old man, and the house where he lived in. It’s quite good job and not so hard work for her.
Time passed by, she liked her job and not to mention that she is having a hidden relationship with her employer, well they are living together in the same house and the old man is alone. Her life is kind of good compared before, of course supported by her employer aside from the salary that shes gaining. But she can’t marry an old man she said.
Thinking that she will be living in three months time, she is prepared to go home. But unfortunately, she get pregnant, what a tragic. You are having sex, even if its old it can possibly make you pregnant, not thinking of that consequences, she’s shattered.
She told the old man, but he is too old to take responsibility, so they must think of a solution. In two months time she will go back home. What can they possibly do to solve the problem? It’s a very big problem.
The old man think of a possible solution. His son. She will seduced his son, the old man said. His son is divorced and has three children.
So the plan must implemented very quickly. They began to do it. The old man invited his son for a dinner and told him that he must visit him very often because he is too old to travel and visit his son and children. Not knowing the plan that the two had build, he agreed.
He often visit his father and Cindy is trying to seduce him. They dated many times. The end of their plan is coming, he seems to like Cindy and they began to have sex. Everything seems to be ok now they thought. After having sex for many times, after a month she told her that she’s pregnant. He is surprised but not shocked because he knows that it will happen as they don’t use any contraceptive. She also told him that she’s soon going back to the Philippines. So he decided that she must live with him in his own house and tell the authority that she is bearing his child, so she can stay longer. In the law one foreigner is authorized to live longer if she’s pregnant and the father will claim that it’s his child.
At last the plan had succeed. She lived with the son now. But after two months, he found out that it’s not his child, and the truth shocked him, his father is the father of the baby. What a life?!
His father explained everything, knowing that it’s also his own blood, he accepted the fact that it’s his not his child.
Now Cindy’s womb is in 6 months way, she’s still living with the son, and the father is still supporting her and the baby. Well, at least the baby saved her from going back home.
What can you say? What a life isn’t it? It’s just one of the story of a fact of life.
By Blue Rose on Sunday, 13 of September , 2009 at 6:02 am
How you live through fights
- “Do women really have to raise their voices to get their points across? Contrary to popular belief, men do listen and they’re easy to talk to – as long as they’re not being yelled at. Otherwise, they tune out.” – Hans, 28, artist
- “My ex-girlfriend would shower me with kisses whenever I got upset with her. It usually worked and my heart would soften. But because we never really talked about our issues and only resolved them physically, our communication wasn’t open and issues kept resurfacing because there was no proper discussion.” – Richard, 32, manager
-“Stop whining, nagging, screaming, and complaining about everything because it’s really irritating when a girl does these things if a girl has something on her mind, she should talk to her boyfriend nicely. Guys don’t like to fight. I would have preferred it if my ex appreciated all the things that I did for her instead of having complained all the time.” – Dennis, 30, businessman
Syncing up in the sack
-“I dated a single mom who was five years older than me and had three kids. In bed, we never had more than one round lovemaking. When she was satisfied, that was it. After two years she told me she didn’t have the energy for sex anymore and suggested I find a younger woman. I did – much to her regret.” – Francis, 27, singer
-“If you expect your boyfriend to go down you, please wash up first. Also, a little trimming wouldn’t hurt.” – Trevor, 28, racer
-“Be a bit more assertive in bed. If your lover isn’t performing up to par, tell him how he can improve. Be specific and don’t be shy. Don’t be afraid to hurt his ego. In the end, if he sees you’re enjoying, that’s a big ego boost for him. Encourage him tot el you also how you can be a better lover.” – Ben, 26, marketing manager
Matching your fundamentals
-“I’m a very family-oriented guy. I need a girl who understands that I will always be involved with my family. Sometimes I’ll need to drop a prior engagement with my girl to attend to family matters and an old girlfriend couldn’t understand that. She ended up feeling neglected and alone but didn’t know what else to do. As far as I knew, blood was thicker than water.” – Markus, 34, restaurateur
-“You know how people say that you’re supposed to be able to depend on each other? Well, there’s such a thing as being too dependent…” – Larry, 29, IT engineer
-“My ex-girlfriend had halitosis and it really put me off, but I couldn’t tell her. There were times she’d want to cuddle, like when we were watching a movie, and it killed me because her breath just smelled too much like spoiled saliva. When my own mother noticed her bad breath, I thought it was time to break it off. I wanted a girl whom I could proudly show off and be with, not one who repelled me – and my family and friends – physically.” – Garry, 33, teacher
By Blue Rose on Wednesday, 9 of September , 2009 at 7:00 am
Learn from your past – and be the best girlfriend
You need not wish an ex-boyfriend ill. Instead, make better use of your time and emotions by taking advantage of bitter breakups and dude dramas – and coming out the truly better half.
It didn’t work out. Now what? Whether your boyfriend ducked out or you called it quits, truth is, you can learn a thing or two from each failed relationship. Ultimately, it’s you – because you have full control over how your next relationship can be better. Here, we help you pick up self-improvement cues from your ex-boyfriend’s raves and rants. Listen closely and learn how to makeover your girlfriend style and ready yourself for Mr. Next.
What Makes You Girlfriend Material
- “Having ambition and goals is a big turn-on for guys. Men may base their first impressions on women’s looks or sense of humor, but we really do looks for hints as to how a woman’s personality will pan out in the long run. Will she be dependable, or will she just drag a man down?” – Sandy, 32, manager
- “A girl should go out with someone who’s more like her. I think my ex was a bit too aggressive and neurotic for me while I was laidback and lazy. We both tried to compromise by becoming more like the other person. That led a lot of tension and unneeded resentment.” – Nathan, 27, call center agent
- “Pretty girls are used to being chased by guys. So when they get into a serious relationship, they forget that they have to sacrifice all the fun flirtations of the single life. If one man adoring her isn’t enough, then she should just stay single.” – Teddy, 22, student
- “Many girls take nice guys for granted. And when the jerks they end up with start breaking their hearts, they wonder what happened! Those girls should screw their heads on straight and see that nice guys are here to stay – for the long haul!” – Francis, 30, Engineer
- “Though the sweet, mahinhin type is appealing for many guys, we don’t particularly want to have a partner who’s as meek as a worm (read: no backbone). On a first date, girls should tell guys where they’d like to go or what they’d like to eat, and be open to their date’s suggestions as well. Guys like girls who are confident, but not too bossy.” – Patrick, 26, executive manager
Managing Relationship Expectations
- “My ex would get infuriated with me whenever I forgot to text her, ‘Good night. I love you’ before going to bed. If I didn’t text her, I would wake up with at least 10 text messages in my mobile phone – all from her, telling me what an inconsiderate ass I was. The issue got really old very quickly and I couldn’t stand her insecurity anymore, so I dumped her.” – Mel, 33, accountant
- “I like a woman who has no problem with ‘guy time.’ My friends will always be a part of my life. A woman can’t replace then and she certainly can’t make me choose between her and them.” – Paulo, 27, teacher
- “I can’t stand it when girls get so clingy. They start whining about being alone and hopeless without me at their beck and call all day long. My ex-girlfriend used to do that and I ended up leaving her because she just didn’t understand. I have my own life and if a girl can’t handle that, then we aren’t meant.” – Dan, 29, banker
-“My ex had a split Jekyll and Hyde personality when it came to showing affection. She was the sweetest, most loving girl who would shower me with kisses and give me tight embraces – but only when we were alone. In public, she was as stiff and cold as a corpse. I would simply hold her hand and she would reject me. I didn’t like the fact that I couldn’t show to the world how much I adore my girl. It eventually turned me off.” – Randy, 30, graphic artist
There are still more coming’ up, stick with me and you will surely know everything that man’s thinking about their girlfriends. I’m sure you will get a lot of tips from them on how to be the best girlfriend ever, win and melt their hearts. See you.
By Blue Rose on Tuesday, 8 of September , 2009 at 6:05 pm
Dating a guy who’s still hung up on a former flame is asking for heartbreak. Here are signs he hasn’t moved on.
- He talk’s trash – you may think his admission that his ex was a two-timing b#@$% is a sure sign that he’s done with her, but that degree of passion – even it it’s in the form of anger – proves that he’s still emotionally connected to her.
- He has nothing to say – once a guy has moved past a relationship, he should be able to admit it was painful or say what he learned from it. But if they were together for a stretch of time and he acts all “whatever,” it shows that he hasn’t truly grieved the relationship and come out the other side.
- They’re best friends – though plenty of exes do wind up on decent terms, being BFF with an ex right away is sketchy. If their lives are that entwined, there’s good chance one of them is holding out for a reunion.
- He absolves her – whether she bailed or he let The One get away, its bad news if he thinks his last love could do no wrong. Since his imagination has reinvented her as an angel, you’ll never be competing with her halo.
If he is showing this signs, it means he’s still hook up with his ex, and can’t move on. Help him forget her and do your best so that his mind will be yours forever. Be his best companion, best friend and play mate not just his girlfriend.
I will give you the tips on how you can be the best girlfriend.
By Blue Rose on Tuesday, 8 of September , 2009 at 3:05 pm
Sometimes it’s hard to know what makes men tick. So we researched some of guy’s most baffling antics. Check out these fascinating explanations.
Why do guys play pointless games? – Stacking cans and shooting wads of paper into the trash may seem dumb to you, but he can’t help it. “Guys have a need to achieve a sense of competence, even if the skills have no purpose,” says Judy Kleinfeld, EdD, professor of psychology at the University of Alaska at Fairbanks.
Why is it that as soon as a relationship gets serious, some guys get malabo? – You’ve finally decided to be exclusive, and he suddenly starts pulling away. What the hell? Well, men in relationships often feel physically torn in two different directions. While oxytocin, the bonding hormone, is making him want to attach to a girl, the testosterone in his system is telling him to break free and maintain his independence, according to Michael Gurian, author of What Could He Be Thinking?
What do guys find so funny about fall-down, kicked-in-the-groin humor? – As a rule, people tend to laugh at things that make them uncomfortable, and for men, getting hurt is their worst nightmare. “Guys are afraid of being emasculated, so when they see it happen to someone else, like the three stooges or in Dumb and Dumber, they laugh, almost relieved it’s not them,” explains George Weinberg, PhD, author of Why Men Won’t Commit.
Why do guys spend hours surfing around on their computers or gadgets? – Call it crazy, but he actually enjoys seeing how far he can push the thing until it breaks. “Then he can have the pleasure of fixing it and learning how it works,” says Kleinfeld. “The more he explores, the greater the likelihood that he’ll find new features.” It’s a toy to him, not a functional object.
Why do so many men seem oblivious to clutter and mess? – You might be annoyed by the piles of clothes and papers scattered all over his house, but he may not notice! “Because of biology and socialization, women feel pressure to create a warm, comforting environment,” says Weinberg. “But a man’s pride is outside of the home. His office may be pristine, but the look of his apartment is not a priority.
Why do guys respond to a long e-mail with two sentences? – You wrote an entire novel describing your day, and he responded with something like “That’s cool. Let’s do Chinese for dinner.” Annoying? Absolutely, but it’s not personal. “For most men, the purpose of communication is just to deliver information, not to connect t another person,” explains Weinberg. “If he reads a long e-mail, he’ll weed out the points he needs to address. Responding to every detail just doesn’t seem necessary to him.”
By Blue Rose on Sunday, 30 of August , 2009 at 12:00 pm
The consequences of having sex when you’re in your teens don’t seem to be real. Statistics after statistics have shown us that while the number of teens having experience with sex is not declining, knowledge on STDs and birth control methods (whether natural or artificial) is not on the rise. Proof of this is the fact that one-third of women between the ages of 20 to 24 years old gave birth to their first child before turning 21, and that “of the estimated 1.7 million babies being born every year, around 30 percent comes from young women,” cites Philippine Obstetrical and Gynecological Society (POGS) in a press conference.
College student Lily, who admits to being sexually active, also ‘fesses up that she and her boyfriend don’t us any kind of protection. “I don’t want to take pills and my boyfriend isn’t too keen on using a condom,” she says. “Sometimes we abstain, but when we do it, I just really hope that I don’t get pregnant. I don’t worry about the other bad stuff because my boyfriend is faithful to me and we’re young. So far we’ve been lucky.”
Relying on luck though when it comes to life-altering choices is never ever that reliable. But the problem is most teens don’t think that those choices they’re making about sex now can alter their lives to begin with. According to many studies on adolescent psychiatry, most teens fail to see how their actions now will affect their future. Have sex now, worry later. Others, without knowledge on what they’re getting into, don’t even know what to worry about.
The risk of early premarital sex
Although unwanted pregnancies and STDs are the more immediate consequences teens might face due to early sexual activity, what’s happening to their body should also be of concern. As adolescents are still in a stage of development, so are their reproductive organs. Because when you engage in early sexual activity, you’re exposing the immature cells (in your developing reproductive organs) to external environmental factors – like the coitus (or intercourse). The cervix is not yet ready to take on the kind of activity. So what happens is through the years the cells grow into dysplastic or abnormal cells. Those developing abnormal cells put one at high risk in developing cervical cancer. Another risk factor is promiscuity, the more partners you have, that’s also a problem. The good thing is cervical cancer doesn’t happen overnight; however, this just makes the risk not all that immediate, hence not a reality for many sexually active teens. But the risk is so real; more than half of women who developed cervical cancer later in life became sexually active at an early age.
How do you stop yourself from being at risk?
- The most sensible (and obvious) way is to wait it out. Postpone having sex until you’re emotionally and biologically ready for the responsibilities and consequences sex entails.
- If you’re already sexually active, be monogamous. Having different sexual partners increases your chances of acquiring different STDs and developing a reproductive tract cancer (the most common of which is cancer of the cervix).
- Be aware of your body. If you’re not sexually active or if you’re monogamous, if you get infection in the cervix – characterized by a lot of vaginal discharge, which can be abnormal in color or with an abnormal smell – consult your family physician or gynecologist. Don’t let such infections go untreated because they can develop more abnormalities in your cervix.
- As soon as you start having sex or at the age of 25, you should get an annual pap smear screening.
By Blue Rose on Sunday, 30 of August , 2009 at 6:05 am
Love is often associated wit broken hearts. But the darker side also reveals cuts, bruises and broken lives. These are real stories of abusive boyfriends and how Filipina woman were able to break away from the violence.
It started with hard hand squeezes, with is nails digging into her skin. Anne, 21, says that her ex-boyfriend, Mark, did that whenever she said something he didn’t like, even if she did it in a very nice way. Soon, Anne’s fingers and palms were full of small, but painful wounds and bruises. She’d cover up her boyfriend’s abuse by saying that the scratches were made by her pet cat. However, not all were convinced by her act. “We had a feeling that something was wrong when Anne became sullen and withdrawn,” relates Michelle, one of Anne’s friends. “She didn’t hang out with our friends like before. Medyo nagagalit nga kami dati kasi pakiramdam namin e kinukontrol siya ni Mark; he was over possessive.” (We were a bit angry before because we felt that Mark was controlling her; he was over-possessive.) However, no one in their group asked Anne whether Mark was abusing her. “We don’t like to get in their lives, because they may think nakiki-extra kami,” Discloses Michelle, though she quickly adds that she now wished she did.
The abuse became more severe when Anne, upon finding out that Mark cheated on her, confronted him. Mark suddenly grabbed her by the throat and started choking her. “I thought I was going to die, I couldn’t breathe,” recalls Anne, tearfully. It was obvious from her demeanor during the interview that she hadn’t fully recovered from the trauma, which happened nearly two years ago. Mark only released her when another student heard her frantic cries and rushed into the classroom to help her. Though she initially considered filling charges against Mark with their campus disciplinary office, she decided not to because she didn’t wan to make the incident public. Today, though they have both graduated from college, Anne is still distressed. “I don’t want to see Mark again, or be reminded of him because I always remember what he did to me. I am so bitter that he made me emotional cripple. I now have a hard time trusting others – what more get into a new relationship.”
The Stigma of the Abused
According to the Philippine Republic Act Number 9262, or “An Act Defining Violence Against Women and Their Children” (VAWC) includes girlfriend abuse in its definition of “Violence against Women,” which refers to “Any act or a series of acts committed by any person has or had a sexual or dating relationship, which result in or is likely to result in physical, sexual, psychological harm or suffering, or economic abuse, including threats of such acts, battery, assault, coercion, harassment or arbitrary deprivation of liberty.”
According to Amparita Sta.Maria, a lawyer and the director for the Women’s Desk of the Ateneo Human Rights center and a professor of Gender and the Law in the same school, even though the VACW is a recently implemented legal remedy, she concedes that cases are very much underreported. “Disempowerment of women is widespread,” she laments. “In a conservative patriarchal culture like ours, abuse in the context of a relationship is still deemed by many to be a private matter or a domestic issue. Those who are informed of the abuse, and even some authorities, may dissuade a woman from pushing through with her complaint. A victim may also choose to remain anonymous for fear that her abuser will get back at her.”
“There are several reasons why girlfriends who have been abused by their partners are reluctant to speak out,” theorizes Dr. John Sanchez, a psychiatrist who specializes in juvenile development. “Among them is the stigma attached to it although it may be true that the victim often has a dependent, needy type of personality, many girls understandably do not want to be branded as such because insensitive people might pre-judge them, saying na sinasaktan sila kasi pinapayagan nila and sarili nilang abusuhin (they are being abused because they are letting themselves to be abused). The blame is shifted to them when in the first place, violence should never be inflicted upon anybody, whatever her personality.” 
Did u learn something girls? Well if you do, then I think it’s time to change the abusive part. But it’s not trough yet, I still have part two of the story, read more and learn more, catch up for the next post.
You’re comments and suggestions are gratefully accepted.
