By Blue Rose on Tuesday, 19 of May , 2009 at 3:19 pm
Yes it is a sad fact.
Sex addicts usually have a recognizable profile. For one thing, the vast majorities are men – they outnumber women four to one, in fact. More than 80 percent have some other kind of addiction – to the bottle, to gambling, to drugs (cocaine is the drug of choice for sex addicts). They generally suffer from low self-esteem. And they almost invariably report having been abused as children. Sex addiction, in fact, may be one of the many long-range consequences of child abuse – tragedy in a slow fuse. Abused kids not only come to feel worthless, they also come to think humiliation and shame are a part of normal sexual expression.
A second level addict is those whose behavior has escalated into things that could get them arrested and often involves a victim – exhibitionism, voyeurism, obscene phone calls. At this most extreme level, sex addiction can turn into the most heinous of crimes, like rape, incest or child molestation.
So many people have found themselves giving distressing answers to the factors that was stated before, and a nationwide sexual addiction recovery movement has emerged in the United States in recent years. Four major self-help groups, all of them modeled on the 12-step recovery program developed by Alcoholics Anonymous, have come into existence. The goal of this program, according to one recovering sex addict says recovering from alcoholism is a “walk on the beach” compared with overcoming the shame and degradation of sex addiction. Still, if you’ve got a problem, a self-help group may be your best hope. You may wish to contact national self-help group, which could have a local branch in your area (Sexaholics Anonymous, Box 300, Simi Valley, CA 93062; or Sex Addicts Anonymous, P.O. Box 3038, Minneapolis, MN 55403).
I hope and wish this may help even a little.
By Blue Rose on Sunday, 17 of May , 2009 at 3:29 pm
Is it possible to get “hooked” on sexual pleasure, just the way people get addicted to alcohol or drugs?
In the recent years, the question has become one of the hottest debates in psychology. On the other hand, many responsible sex experts claim there are a huge number of people who’s craving for the “high” of sex – usually promiscuous, anonymous sex – can legitimately be considered a true addiction. In extreme cases, these addicts hunt so obsessively for illicit sexual stimulation that it wrecks their marriages, careers and physical health.
On the other hand, other authorities complain that “sex addiction” is a fad diagnosis for something that cannot be legitimately be considered a true addiction at all. Some believe, if anything, it’s a problem more closely related to compulsions like anorexia than addictions like alcoholism. Others note that if this problem is addiction, it’s the only one whose “cure” doesn’t require complete abstinence. (After all, you can live without alcohol or drugs, but it would be both unhealthy and unrealistic to ask people to live without sex.)
How many sex addicts are there? Dr. Carnes estimates there may be as many as 7 to 14 million population, and then there is 3 to 6 percent of the population has this disease. The most common form of addict is the person who flits from affair to affair and may occasionally visit prostitutes, porn shops, or blue movies. Although he or she feels ashamed and is secretive about such behavior, it continues even despite effort to stop.
How can you tell if your sexual urges have started to run out of control? Dr. Carnes suggests that you consider the following factors. If most of the answers to the pertinent questions are yes, there may well be an element of unhealthy compulsion in your sexual behavior.
Feelings of despair. After sex, do you have feelings of shame, despair, and emptiness?
Secrecy. Do you feel a need to keep your sexual behavior a secret? Do you thrive on the thrill of leading a clandestine “double life”?
Abuse. Do you engage in sexual practices that are abusive or exploitative? Do you have sex with partners who are not completely willing?
Empty relationships. Do you have sex with partners whom you don’t really even know – or worse, whom you don’t even like?
Compromised values. Does your sexual behavior consistently violate your ethical values?
