Introducing: The Cockbib

By Blue Rose on Tuesday, 11 of August , 2009 at 5:54 pm

Cockbib? What the hell is that? Well guys, introducing an adult item for males designed to protect when you’re having blow jobs.

”The whole idea for cockbibs came to me right after I was pleased orally and realized, “Damn, I can’t just fall asleep, I need to get up and wash my balls.” I had just been a victim of another sloppy blowjob. I sat there wishing that I did not have to get up and go do the whole wipe down routine and that’s when it hit me. I said “what if I had something to protect my balls, some sort of bib, and a bib for my cock.” . . . and so, cockbibs were born.

And so, a guy gets a bad blowjob and he responds by designing and marketing 38 different novelty ball-covers to hang on your penis during oral sex. Given that these things look like tiny portable glory holes, this post-oral pioneer takes care to note that he is “Happily Married to a Beautiful Woman.” No word on how those “victim of another sloppy blowjob” comments went over.

In case you were wondering, there is a Yes You Can! CockBib. Some of the other CockBib designs, however, come off as a tad less progressive.

Check it out guys and girls, it may come up as a good gift.

1. “Caution: May Cause Trauma.” Yeah, I’ll go ahead and heed that warning, and steer clear of the dismembered penis poking through the baby clothes, thank you very much.

cock_bib1 2. “Caution: Dick Curves to the Right.” Again: HEED THIS WARNING. cockbib_cautiondickturnsright 3. “It’s Showtime: These Nuts In Ya Mouth Take 1.” Sigh. The WHOLE POINT of the CockBib is so your balls don’t get wet, right? Fucking nonsensical CockBib!