By Blue Rose on Monday, 14 of March , 2011 at 6:04 pm
It’s not only house, body or car you have to do a make-over. You will ask, Family makeover? What is that? Well it’s all about how to deal with your family, how can you control them and not you whose being controlled by them. Sounds complicated, yes it is, you must practice it now or else you will lose on the battle between them.
A. The most complicated of all is the Money matters. You are having problems in your family most of the time when it comes to money, agree? Well I experienced it before. Specially if your the bread winner, giving you so much head ache. End of the month, your head is going to explode when your looking at your paycheck and thinking of your family, oh gosh…
Make a list of all the expenses, disegnate an amount for all of it, just enough no more, no less, no additional.
If your working or living in the other country, make sure that you monitor all the necessary expenses in your house, it sounds like you don’t trust them or your paranoid, but it will pay off soon, tell them to scan all the reciept and bills and send it to you.
They will ask you to send some amount for example additional school payment, medicine,or check up, make sure to have a strong question and interrogate them deeply, soon it will end up they will tell you what it is for, it is for unnecessary things.
Relatives, auncle, aunties, cousins, they will contact you and ask if you can send them money, because of some reasons, these and that, you have to remember they are not your responsibilities, I can understand if its for your brother or sister, gifts once a year is enough, but everytime they will ask you for help and you will also send, nahhh..not acceptable.
Your brother or sister will ask, send me some money because I will buy cellphone or it’s my birthday I will have a party, think so many times before you do it, look at your own cellphone, remember your birthday, look at your paycheck every month, then ask your self. Did I had a nice party on my birthday, did I bought new cellphone, will my salary can cover all this expenses? Then you will know the answer, sometimes they are just doing it for showing off that they have somebody working or living in the other country.
Sometimes you get to know that they have very high bills and consume alot, what the heck?? Don’t be afraid to ask, why?how?what did you all do?Then be strong and be a stone, tell them ”I will not pay that, this month and next month, I will just send enough for food, you people have to learn and look for alternative how to pay that”, ” I am not just lying here and money is just coming, learn how to be thrifty in everything”.
B. When you have seen all those things, you have to evaluate now thier feelings or your feelings. It’s all about preparing thier feelings now. When you do all in letter A., surely they will feel hurt, but explain to them that you are not just picking up money on the street, you are not doing some extravagant living where ever you are, you are not rich to cover all of thier needs, if you can help you will do it, but not everytime.
When I was working before, my mother always call everyweek, many reasons that are not really important and true, I end up having nothing every end of the month, even my salary next month is gone, shibal!
So what I did one time,when my mom call, I jump up on the bus heading home and surprise them, that’s the time I found out that everything is a lie, and I am so fool believing it, bills and debts are everywhere, haven’t payed even if I send money for paying those…sh…….!!!
When I start to live in Norway, I talked to my parents that my father will be the one to recieve the money and do all the budgetting. Eversince that day my mom did not talked to me, I don’t care I said, it’s for our own good, and sooner she also realized it, it’s not my fault, then we get good relationship between us.
Before I send money, I will call my father, how much for the electric bill, water bill, internet bill, I already know how much is for my daughters nanny, and so I calculate everything. I end up sending enough money, already budgeted and designated, including food for monthly consuming and I extra amount for both my parents that is not big like 500php each. I will give you an example of how much I send every month. I send 2000nok every month, in pesos it 15,000.
electric bill – 1,500php
water bill – 500php
internet – 1000 php
nanny - 2500php
mom – 500php
dad - 500php
my daughter - 1,500php – milk,playing in SM,jollibee,things she like
total - 8,000php
7,000php — remaining for thier food
I don’t send money for birthdays or things they like to buy that is just for thier own happiness. I send money to my relatives if it’s borrow and they will pay it, if it’s for free, sorry nothing is free in this world anymore, sounds drastic and bad, but you have to learn how to be like that or else you will end up nothing. I also manage to give my brothers some amount like 500php, not every month, only if I remember and it’s not for them, it’s for my nieces and nephew, I usually tell my father to buy food for the kids for thier snacks in school, I don’t give cash because it will just cause conflicts and I know it will not end up on food.
Eversince I intrusted the money to my father, everything goes very very well, bills are payed, no debts, they also get to save some small amounts in the bank. When I go home, I ask my father where are the bills and I evaluate them one by one, ask them if I had seen a faulty on this or that, ask them how much is this, how much is that? Why is this high? What happen? Then we will have a family conference, hehehe, yeah seriuosly I do that, I tell them what I feel and what is not important and what should they do. It works very well, we don’t have misunderstanding when it comes to money matters and family matters.
If you don’t have anybody that will manage the money, just do what I did, write the expenses and send just enough. They will end up learning how to manage how much they get and be responsible for it.
If you are working having 30,000php salary every month, you can save alot and put in a bank. I had known alot of people working here that end up nothing when the contract is finished, because they send everything at home, they don’t even think of thier own future or what will it be when the job is done. They will go back home, the people thier are hoping he/she has a lot of money, but they don’t also that nothing has left because they alwasy asking and asking. They will even ask you, What??why??What did you do??Maybe you did so many extravagant things there?? They will start to accuse you not knowing or evaluating what they had done too. bu*******t!!!
Then you will feel the pressure again, pressured when you are still working because left and right you hear ”we need money,I need money”, then you get home hoping you will feel happy that at last I get to see my family, but again pressured. Poor you.
Be strong, learn how to be harsh and stone sometimes, we are so soft when it comes to our family, but remember you also have your own life, and if they will not learn they will still be like that even when you already have your own family and that will cause a big problem between you and your husband or wife, it’s not a theory, that’s the truth, most have that kind of problem.
I hate dependent people, we grew up like that but we must stand on our own feet or else we will be like that forever.
Don’t hate me,we have different opinions yes I know, but what I just want to say is ‘‘OPEN YOUR EYES”.
Comments (2) Category: Featured Entries
Tags: car, expenses, family, house, makeover, money, norwegian money, relationship
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Great info here, thanks for sharing