By Blue Rose on Monday, 14 of March , 2011 at 6:04 pm
It’s not only house, body or car you have to do a make-over. You will ask, Family makeover? What is that? Well it’s all about how to deal with your family, how can you control them and not you whose being controlled by them. Sounds complicated, yes it is, you must practice it now or else you will lose on the battle between them.
A. The most complicated of all is the Money matters. You are having problems in your family most of the time when it comes to money, agree? Well I experienced it before. Specially if your the bread winner, giving you so much head ache. End of the month, your head is going to explode when your looking at your paycheck and thinking of your family, oh gosh…
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Make a list of all the expenses, disegnate an amount for all of it, just enough no more, no less, no additional.
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If your working or living in the other country, make sure that you monitor all the necessary expenses in your house, it sounds like you don’t trust them or your paranoid, but it will pay off soon, tell them to scan all the reciept and bills and send it to you.
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They will ask you to send some amount for example additional school payment, medicine,or check up, make sure to have a strong question and interrogate them deeply, soon it will end up they will tell you what it is for, it is for unnecessary things.
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Relatives, auncle, aunties, cousins, they will contact you and ask if you can send them money, because of some reasons, these and that, you have to remember they are not your responsibilities, I can understand if its for your brother or sister, gifts once a year is enough, but everytime they will ask you for help and you will also send, nahhh..not acceptable.
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Your brother or sister will ask, send me some money because I will buy cellphone or it’s my birthday I will have a party, think so many times before you do it, look at your own cellphone, remember your birthday, look at your paycheck every month, then ask your self. Did I had a nice party on my birthday, did I bought new cellphone, will my salary can cover all this expenses? Then you will know the answer, sometimes they are just doing it for showing off that they have somebody working or living in the other country.
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Sometimes you get to know that they have very high bills and consume alot, what the heck?? Don’t be afraid to ask, why?how?what did you all do?Then be strong and be a stone, tell them ”I will not pay that, this month and next month, I will just send enough for food, you people have to learn and look for alternative how to pay that”, ” I am not just lying here and money is just coming, learn how to be thrifty in everything”.
B. When you have seen all those things, you have to evaluate now thier feelings or your feelings. It’s all about preparing thier feelings now. When you do all in letter A., surely they will feel hurt, but explain to them that you are not just picking up money on the street, you are not doing some extravagant living where ever you are, you are not rich to cover all of thier needs, if you can help you will do it, but not everytime.
When I was working before, my mother always call everyweek, many reasons that are not really important and true, I end up having nothing every end of the month, even my salary next month is gone, shibal!
So what I did one time,when my mom call, I jump up on the bus heading home and surprise them, that’s the time I found out that everything is a lie, and I am so fool believing it, bills and debts are everywhere, haven’t payed even if I send money for paying those…sh…….!!!
When I start to live in Norway, I talked to my parents that my father will be the one to recieve the money and do all the budgetting. Eversince that day my mom did not talked to me, I don’t care I said, it’s for our own good, and sooner she also realized it, it’s not my fault, then we get good relationship between us.
Before I send money, I will call my father, how much for the electric bill, water bill, internet bill, I already know how much is for my daughters nanny, and so I calculate everything. I end up sending enough money, already budgeted and designated, including food for monthly consuming and I extra amount for both my parents that is not big like 500php each. I will give you an example of how much I send every month. I send 2000nok every month, in pesos it 15,000.
electric bill – 1,500php
water bill – 500php
internet – 1000 php
nanny - 2500php
mom – 500php
dad - 500php
my daughter - 1,500php – milk,playing in SM,jollibee,things she like
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total - 8,000php
- 15,000php
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7,000php — remaining for thier food
I don’t send money for birthdays or things they like to buy that is just for thier own happiness. I send money to my relatives if it’s borrow and they will pay it, if it’s for free, sorry nothing is free in this world anymore, sounds drastic and bad, but you have to learn how to be like that or else you will end up nothing. I also manage to give my brothers some amount like 500php, not every month, only if I remember and it’s not for them, it’s for my nieces and nephew, I usually tell my father to buy food for the kids for thier snacks in school, I don’t give cash because it will just cause conflicts and I know it will not end up on food.
Eversince I intrusted the money to my father, everything goes very very well, bills are payed, no debts, they also get to save some small amounts in the bank. When I go home, I ask my father where are the bills and I evaluate them one by one, ask them if I had seen a faulty on this or that, ask them how much is this, how much is that? Why is this high? What happen? Then we will have a family conference, hehehe, yeah seriuosly I do that, I tell them what I feel and what is not important and what should they do. It works very well, we don’t have misunderstanding when it comes to money matters and family matters.
If you don’t have anybody that will manage the money, just do what I did, write the expenses and send just enough. They will end up learning how to manage how much they get and be responsible for it.
If you are working having 30,000php salary every month, you can save alot and put in a bank. I had known alot of people working here that end up nothing when the contract is finished, because they send everything at home, they don’t even think of thier own future or what will it be when the job is done. They will go back home, the people thier are hoping he/she has a lot of money, but they don’t also that nothing has left because they alwasy asking and asking. They will even ask you, What??why??What did you do??Maybe you did so many extravagant things there?? They will start to accuse you not knowing or evaluating what they had done too. bu*******t!!!
Then you will feel the pressure again, pressured when you are still working because left and right you hear ”we need money,I need money”, then you get home hoping you will feel happy that at last I get to see my family, but again pressured. Poor you.
Be strong, learn how to be harsh and stone sometimes, we are so soft when it comes to our family, but remember you also have your own life, and if they will not learn they will still be like that even when you already have your own family and that will cause a big problem between you and your husband or wife, it’s not a theory, that’s the truth, most have that kind of problem.
I hate dependent people, we grew up like that but we must stand on our own feet or else we will be like that forever.
Don’t hate me,we have different opinions yes I know, but what I just want to say is ‘‘OPEN YOUR EYES”.
By Blue Rose on Monday, 7 of March , 2011 at 8:05 pm
When I was a child, I have a dream that is just simple as the others, have a family and live in a simple and happy way and to become a teacher.
I grew up in a religious and respectable family, lots of norms, lots of does and don’ts, maybe it’s all the same for a Filipino family. We have so many supersticious beliefs ever you can imagine, but i know living with it and following it is not really a big help in our everyday living.
My father was away working and ussual as other family, the mother is the one taking care of the house, we were taught how to do house hold choirs in early ages, cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry, even selling food in houses every afternoon, we are not rich if you may think of that, we are just middle class people living in a simple way as we can.
Bad things happen, my father doesn’t have work anymore, he had a serious problem with his people in the construction company were he was working, instead of fighting he just went home without anything. We have to fix everything or else we will starve, my father is a very good cook, so he started cooking food every afternoon, me and my mom walk in every door step knocking, and sell our food, we do this everyday, luckily all food was sold in no time.
We were in elementary that time, my siblings and I have to study harder as we can to get a very good grades, in return for all the sacrifices that our parents did for us. Hard work are payed, every end of school year my brother and I always had an award, our parents are always very happy going up on the stage with us tieng the ribbon or putting the medal.
Things become much harder when we went to high school, there are times that we really don’t have anything to eat, I walk around at my grandmothers backyard and look for vegetables or rootcrops and cook them. Our grandparents has bigger house than us, they don’t starve, they don’t have problems with food, I remember my brother tried to borrow a cup of rice before, but what does he got, a bad and harsh words from our grandparents. From that moment, we become stronger, we realize that even our relatives are turning thier backs on us when we don’t have anything, but when we were not in that situation they are always smiling and asking for help.
Good year has arrived, our parents got a job at the same time, they earning quite enough for us to have good food and for other things we need. We started to have a black and white television, before we are just watching television at our grandparents house. We started to have extra money in going to school, before we just pack our lunch boxes and that’s it, no snacks during recess time, we just drink water and waited until lunch, eat our lunch that consist of rice and dried fish, or vegetables, sometimes when we really don’t have dried fish we just put rice and sugar or rice with soya sauce. We don’t feel regret in it at all, together with my classmates we walk from school to home and vice versa, rain and shine, storm and wind, we always say all things have a reason why it’s happening and good things will come in return.
Another year arrived, things going much better, we change our black and white television with colored, we can buy new clothes, we can have parties now during our birthdays, I remember I only had one birthday party from elementary to high school. I don’t really like parties, it’s just a waste of money, but I like the gifts, sure everybody does.
We were still doing very good in school, still consistent honor students and active in school organization. I still do sell some snacks or nuts at school, sometimes ice candies, milked flour, I do this everyday, for my extra allowance and projects, so I don’t need to ask from my parents. I became more independent and stronger, my dreams became more clearer. I want to succeed in life. I want to have a better future for my family and for my future family. I don’t want to be like this forever, I am determined to change my future, never again we will be mocked and hear bad words from anybody, I will never let sad things happen again, I will stand out and fight.
” Everything has a reason, in every darkness there is always a ray of light, just have faith and strength to find it and let it shine”
Next chapter will come soon…
By Blue Rose on Saturday, 5 of March , 2011 at 6:00 am
In Numbeo’s survey (http://www.numbeo.com/), New York is used as the base city for the index and scores 100 points, with all cities compared against New York and currency movements measured against the US Dollar and EURO. Sydney (Australia) scored 113.14 points, making it nearly three times as costly as La Paz (Bolivia) with an index score of 39.00.
At the beginning of 2011, the most expensive cities (excluding rent) are:
- Oslo, Norway (CPI 149.26)
- Stavanger, Norway (145.65)
- Zurich, Switzerland (143.93)
- Geneva, Switzerland (143.71)
- Bergen, Norway (142.46)
- Basel, Switzerland (141.12)
- Lausanne, Switzerland (136.41)
- Lucerne, Switzerland (133.04)
- Perth, Australia (130.15)
- Copenhagen, Denmark (123.87)
The least expensive cities in 2011 are Indian cities: Coimbatore, Pune, Chennai, Mumbai and Hyderabad, followed by Islamabad and Karachi in Pakistan.
Rent is the most expensive in New York, followed by San Francisco (USA), Abu Dhabi (United Arab Emirates) and Lucerne (Switzerland).
Cities with the lowest rent are Changchun (China) and Karachi (Pakistan).
On the country level, the most expensive countries in 2011 are Norway, Switzerland, Denmark, Belgium, Australia, Ireland and the Netherlands.
The least expensive countries in 2011 are India, Pakistan, Bolivia, Vietnam, Philippines, Thailand and Macedonia.
By Blue Rose on Friday, 4 of March , 2011 at 6:00 am
On the invitation of Philippine Ambassador to Sweden Maria Zeneida Angara Collinson, the Swedish Minister for Integration Erik Ullenhag recently met with Filipino community representatives.
Present during the meeting were Fr. Gabriel Baldostamon (Saint Nicolai Parish in Linköping), Mr. Noli Buhay (Ugnayang Pilipino), Ms. Lendsy Theodorsson (Bayanihan), Ms. Hanna Stenbacka (Filipino-Swedish Youth), Ms. Karol Jennel and Ms. Vangie Jorquia (ABS-CBN Europe News Bureau correspondent).
Also present during the meeting were Ambassadors from the Association from Southeast Asian Nations (ASEAN) and some members of the ASEAN community in Stockholm.
An initiative of Ambassador Collinson, the meeting was aimed at raising the profile of the growing Filipino community in Sweden by focusing on their successes in assimilating to Swedish life and culture.
Filipino community members actively engaged Minister Ullenhag on their proposals to strengthen the Swedish Government’s language program for immigrants, particularly in terms of enabling quicker employment.
They also asked the Minister on the administration’s response to the seemingly anti-immigrant sentiment, following the terrorist bomb attacks in Stockholm December of last year and the influence of the right-wing Sweden Democrats in the Swedish Parliament.
Minister Ullenhag enthusiastically received the ideas of the Filipino community representatives and acknowledged the important role the 13,000 strong Filipino community has played in contributing to the progress of Sweden.
He assured that his office would remain open to the Filipino community and to the community’s suggestions for a more effective policy for integration.
The Minister also reaffirmed the Swedish Government’s commitment to safeguard and promote the country’s open and tolerant views.
He was especially pleased to know that Filipinos in Sweden were peaceful and productive members of society.
Minister Ullenhag assumed his ministerial portfolio in October 2010 under the second mandate period of Prime Minister Fredrik Reinfeldt’s government.
He has the responsibility to ensure the speedier integration of newly arrived immigrants into Sweden’s working and social life.
ScandAsia.com
By Blue Rose on Thursday, 3 of March , 2011 at 12:48 pm
The Norwegian national and his fiancée who were accused in the kidnapping and killing of a six-year-old girl in Cebu will be freed anytime today, according to the newspaper SunStar Cebu.
The Provincial Prosecutor’s Office dismissed Monday the special complex crime of kidnapping with homicide charges filed by the Cebu Provincial Police Office against Sven Erik Berger and Karen Esdrelon for the murder of Ellah Joy Pique.
Esdrelon told radiodaily that they are confident from the “very start” that the case will be dismissed.
Assistant Provincial Prosecutors Marlon Atillo and Marvin dela Peña, in their joint resolution, said the complaint lacked probable cause.
According to witnesses, Ellah Joy, 6, was abducted from outside a public school in Minglanilla, Cebu past 4 p.m. on February 8. The town lies more than 15 kilometers south of this city.
The couple said it was impossible for them to kidnap the girl in the afternoon of February 8 in Calajo-an, Minglanilla because their “movement was only confined” at the Norwegian School and the Waterfront Hotel in this city when the alleged crime was committed.
Berger and Esdrelon earlier presented to authorities documents to prove their innocence.
At least 14 photographs, captured from the footage of the Waterfront Hotel’s security cameras, were submitted to Governor Gwendolyn Garcia.
The first two photos show the couple entering the hotel at 4:44 p.m. last February 8, bringing their bags. At 4:45 p.m., they were registering at the front desk. Each photo bears a date and time stamp.
The two also outlined in their counter-affidavit their itinerary from February 7, the day Berger arrived at the Mactan Cebu International Airport, until the afternoon of February 9, when they reportedly went to Esdrelon’s house in Tuburan, Cebu. They attached in their affidavits certifications from the Norwegian School and the Waterfront Hotel.
National Bureau of Investigation-Central Visayas Director Edward Villarta earlier said that the police were under pressure to file complaint because they could not hold the suspects beyond 36 hours without doing so.
ScandAsia.com
